out of character?

I was going to blog about the people who live upstairs and their apparent lack of courtesy/respect... but lets be honest, we can probably all come up with at least one or two stories per day of people not showing common decency towards one another.

Rather, I will blog about something else, because it is (unfortunately) much harder to find examples of people's actions that are good and nice and perhaps even a little old fashioned by today's standards.

I was at the mall, and there were lots of teenagers at the mall. I have a bit of a stereotype on how teenagers behave, and in my own defence, most of their actions seem to affirm my stereotype - the majority of teenagers lack respect. In fact, the story starts out that very way...

There were 4 boys exiting the mall, I was behind them, and they were behind an older lady with a cart. The boys were kind of weaving around people, it appeared they were in more of a hurry than most of the others. They were definitely in more of a hurry than the older lady, especially when she suddenly stopped moving so she could put on her gloves before exiting the mall. One of the boys banged into her, causing her to drop a glove. The boy continued on.

But the other 3 didn't. While one of these teenage boys stopped to pick up the dropped glove for the lady, the other two were giving the first boy some heck. "You can't just bang into someone like that..." they lectured. Even more surprising (to me anyway) was the next thing they said: "Go back and apologize to her, or we aren't going to hang out with you today."

WOW.

Even more WOW - the first boy did as they suggested. Head down, and looking a little ashamed, he walked up to the lady. "I am sorry for banging into you, and sorry I didn't help you with the glove you dropped."

I think the older lady was as surprised as I was. Seemed a little out of character for teenage boys in the year 2010...

Every once and awhile I need to be reminded that there are indeed good, caring people out there, and I am thankful to have been witness to it. Kinda renews my faith in humanity.

year in review

It has been a pretty eventful and stressful year. But also a year filled with blessings, many of them unexpected and a couple of them quite sudden. Here are the highlights of 2009.

January

January was a tough month. I was temporarily laid off (seasonal work) and was expecting only part-time work when things resumed next door. Jeff had been doing some temping in December, but January brought along a halt to that. Jeff ended up taking a telemarketing job, certainly not his favorite and way out of his comfort zone. But we needed the money, and I am happy that he did what needed to be done for us. I started job searching, more for a second part-time job, but had applied to some full time jobs as well.

January also brought on the somewhat humiliated feeling of having to borrow money from someone. I wasn't sure if this person would do it, but they came through, and that was a blessed surprise.

There were a couple house showings in January, but no interest. January brought month 3 of the FOR SALE sign out front.

February

Jeff's telemarketing job continues and I am back to work part-time at the greenhouses next door. But things there are busier than expected, and full time work is available to me. However, in the meantime I had been interviewing and was offered a part-time job with more pay. Jeff and I worked some things out with our current employers, and we both ended up working two part time jobs which had us both at work 6 days a week. We "job-shared" at the greenhouse next door (Jeff there when I wasn't, and vice versa). It took a bit to get used to the schedule but more money was coming in.

Again a couple of showings, but no interest in the house. Month 4.

March

March was a better month. First, all our T4s and tax stuff was ready, so I filed taxes. Jeff got a nice chunk of money back, which allowed us to pay off 2/3 of the money we borrowed in January.

Both of us working, me liking my new job much better than Jeff likes his telemarketing one...

March was the end of our listing agreement on our house. We lowered the price, signed for another term, had an open house. Still no interest.

April

Things are running quite well with each working two jobs. More money was coming, bills were being paid, and some back log was being eaten away. We still weren't quite sure where we were going to get the rest of the money owed from what we borrowed in January.

A few house showings, and... no interest :( 6 months!

May

The Spring weather brought on more house showings. Some more detailed interest, and towards the end of the month we saw our first offer! It was a pretty good offer, but conditional on the other people selling their house. We also continued to have other showings, and would have entertained other offers if there were any.

May also brought us a new/renewed contract for a website we had designed and been maintaining for years. This overhaul came with a price, money up front, and the rest upon completion. The upfront money paid the rest of our "loan." And now we just had typical credit card and regular bills.

Work was going well, though Jeff was getting pretty tired of things at the call center, and who can blame him.

June

Well, Jeff finally had enough and decided to leave his telemarketing job. We had done the math and knew that financially we would just squeak by. Especially if our house sold soon, because we had that offer after all.

But the other people's house didn't sell, and they decided not to ask for an extension. So, no offer, back to the house being plain old for sale. We had some showings, and a new offer! Well, don't get too excited yet, it was a pitiful offer that we rejected.

Then the month turned from okay to worse... We were both laid off from our greenhouse job, and were replaced with students when they finished school for the summer. We were grateful to have the job while it lasted, and I will leave it at that.

July

Jeff begins some serious job hunting, and tries to keep busy. I still have my other part-time job and am still working 3 days a week, and its a job I love.

July brought a new offer! Again, this one was conditional on the people selling their house. But our agent was their agent, and we were kept up-to-date on how things were going with their house, and we continued to show ours.

One day at my work I noticed a job posting for "warehouse person" at another branch. I thought that it was something Jeff could do, and gave his info to that branch manager. Jeff was interviewed and was hired, and by the end of the month he had his first pay cheque. In the meantime he had interviewed and even tried out a few other things, but this warehouse job was the one that just worked for us.

The only downside was that Jeff had to get his car back on the road. It was an issue with the catalyst converter, plus he needed an oil change, some brake work,and an e-test. And we needed to renew the sticker. We still didn't have a lot of money up front. But we have retired mechanic friend down the street, and long story short, he and his son (a professional welder) repaired the damage for free! All Jeff had to do was the brakes, which was a struggle (and a long story in itself) but finally done.

August

Things were going well with both our jobs. I was enjoying my two days a week off and getting stuff done at home, and we settled into a routine. There was more money being earned then previously, so we were more comfortable and less stressed.

But the people who offered on our house, nope, their house didn't sell either, and they didn't ask for an extension. Our house was back to being regularly for sale... for a short term... The very next day we had a new offer! This one was conditional only on financing! It was a bit lower than we had hoped for, but still, this was the best overall offer yet! Remember that rejected pathetic offer I mentioned in June? Well, these were the same people with a reasonable offer. It took 5 days, they confirmed their financing, and YES!!!! Jeff and I put up the SOLD sign, a very happy moment indeed. And then the fun began, with just 6 weeks to pack up and move out! This was nearer to the end of the month, closing date Sept 30th (which would be 11 months from the day we initially put it up for sale).

A lot needed to happen in those 6 weeks, as our plan always was to relocate up north. Jobs were needed, and so was a home. Jeff spoke to someone about working from home (telecommuting) for an organization he helped to found. The assumption (based on past experiences) is that it would be a long process, and just hopefully he would be able to start close to our relocate date. The very next day, far less than 24 hours later he received a call and was offered a position! Talk about timing. He then had to resign from his current warehouse job, and in less than a week begin his new job.

The following weekend we made a 1 day trip to up north and looked at 6 apartments. By Monday afternoon we received the call that we got the one we wanted. Now all was left was for me to resign as well, which was tough, because I loved working there.

All of this, and still 1 week of August was left. I began job hunting and we began the process of sorting and packing.

September

What a busy month! I was still working 3 day a week til the end of the month. We sorted the house, I did most of the packing (which is okay, because I had the most time). We had 2 yard sales. We sold stuff on Kijiji and we gave stuff away on Freecycle. We made a trade with our neighbor, they would dispose of all our junk, and we would give them furniture that didn't sell.

Moving day came. No hiccups. It was a busy couple days. Load up on Wednesday, drive up north, Jeff drove the rental, I drove my car with the kitties. Spend night in motel. Unload on Thursday, then drive all the way back down south to return the rental truck. Then drive all the way back to our new home in Jeff's car.

October

The month started out with a whirlwind. The Thursday mentioned above where we unloaded then made the return trip was actually Oct 1st. The first week saw all the boxes unpacked (well, all that were going to be unpacked) and the entire apartment scrubbed from top to bottom. Everything was done in about 5 days.

Then we made a trip to see Jeff's family for Thanksgiving. It was a nice weekend, and such a short drive compared to when we used to do it from down south.

The rest of the month consisted of Jeff working, me job hunting, and trying to keep busy. I did a lot of baking that first month! We also dealt with Cogeco a couple more times than desired, but in the end got a new modem which has been flawless since.

We took advantage of the nice fall weather, explored trails, admired the colors, and saw some wildlife. Beautiful town!

November

Jeff continues to work away. The end of the month marked the end of his 3 month probationary contract, and we are happy to report that they didn't can him and he now has the standard 1 year contract.

I continued job hunting, and trying to stay busy. I scanned all 14 reels of my grandmother's slides, a daunting but rewarding task. I did some more baking. I cleaned twice a week. I made arrangements with the landlord for $100 off rent if I cleaned the common entry way. Boredom and a loss of purpose starts to set in, but I am not discouraged.

November was also the month where I did something very out of the ordinary - I set up the Christmas tree and decorated the house, and it wasn't even December yet! I don't know what I was thinking...

December

This was a month spent chasing kitty away from the Christmas tree. I did Christmas cards, more baking, more job searching, more walking, more trying to stay busy.

I tried, but failed, to see my sister. Failed because the car failed. Had to get some work done to it, and spent a bit of money, but not to bad when all things are considered. The following week was (a successful) second attempt to go see my sister, and it was a wonderful day.

I had a close call with my poor oak tree. :(

Christmas was quiet, with just Jeff and I and a 12lb turkey - lots of leftovers! Presents consisted of us shopping together. We both got some pants and sweaters, I got new winter boots, and Jeff got a new coat.

New Year's Eve will be spent with my sister, then off to see Jeff's family for a few days on New Year's Day. Holidays wrap up and end on my birthday!

See you next year!

the little things

I am pleased to say that as we approach 3 months in the clean and friendly city up North that we are still loving it here. There are so many things about it here that are good for us.

But not everything has turned out how I had planned/hoped. Mainly, I am not working yet, despite my diligence in applying for positions. I guess its just not in the plans... yet anyway.

In the meantime I try and keep busy, though some days I find myself bored, and late afternoon naps at my desk with the kitty on my shoulder have become common, so have early mornings in bed reading with a hot cup of tea (and a kitty very nearby, often on top of the book!) I enjoy the freedom and the time that allows me such luxuries... for now anyway.

A lot of little things get done, mainly cleaning (and cleaning up after kitty). Its not a very big apartment, doesn't take long to clean, and with a messy kitty its a good excuse to clean several times a week.

A lot of walking gets done. Little steps, and when we first got here, those little steps (oh, I should say about a hundred little steps up a steep hill) hurt so bad! Oh my, I had to rest nearly 5 minutes at the top. Now we can do that hill a couple times of day and say, thats not so bad.

This little summary of the Northern life is just that: a summary. One that I hope gets the point across that I (we) are happy here, and despite a few little things, it is such a positive change for us. A long time coming, and we are enjoying the rewards of many years of patient anticipation.

its just a tree

It happened a few weeks ago... One of the people who live upstairs knocked on our door and asked about the tree outside (small, pathetic looking oak tree in a 35 gallon black nursery pot that was sitting near the front door). She wanted to warn us, in a way.

Here is what she told me: The people who own the house next door saw her and asked if the tree was hers, she told them it was ours. The neighbors then proceeded to tell her the tree was ugly and 'dead.' To which she indicated again that it was not hers and they should talk to us. The neighbors then mentioned our landlord's name, saying they were going to complain to him.

She wanted to tell us just in case the tree went "missing" and we were wondering what happened to it. I thanked her then put a note in the pot and moved the tree to the side of the house.

I find a few faults with the entire scenario:

1. As soon as they were told they should talk to us, they should have. They did not.
2. The ugly part is debatable, but "dead?" Its winter, all coniferous trees look dead, were they thinking of cutting down the woods too?
3. What business was it of theirs anyway? Its my tree in "my" yard...

I guess no matter where you live, sometimes neighbors are a thing you can do without.

Oh, the note I put in the tree basically said that it belongs to me, is not dead, rather its dead appearance should be attributed to the fact that its winter. And I politely asked that no one disposes of my tree.

One might think its just a tree, what's even the big deal if they got rid of it? First, its a living tree, why destroy a tree if you do not have to. Second, it wasn't their tree to do anything with. And third, the tree actually has a bit of sentimental value to me.

When I was in elementary school I came home with this little sapling spruce tree. My Mom helped me to pot it and care for it, trimming here, fertilizing there. This little oak tree I now have started out as a tiny little stem with 1 leaf. I remembered Mom's teachings and wondered if I could bring this desperate little oak sapling to life. Sure enough, within 3 years its grown to about 3 feet tall, and (in the summer) looks very much alive.

what is courtesy anyway?

One thing that seems to really bug me about people in general is courtesy, rather, lack thereof. I think so many things in life could be "better" if people were a bit more old-fashioned in their ways of treating one another. Common courtesy is less and less common these days.

I have been known to blog (okay, rant) about cell phone usage, and to me this is an example of lack of courtesy. Just so happens to be a bigger one, in the regard that lack of courtesy while driving is dangerous and can have serious ramifications.

Nonetheless, there are many other experiences that could be improved if courtesy was considered to be an important attribute. Take my trip to the grocery store yesterday. There was an older lady (not tooo old, but a senior) who was just all over the place in the store with her cart. I witnessed her bang into people, and she bumped my cart once. I tried to notice if she had any discernible ailments, but I didn't notice anything. Perhaps it was her eyesight, she was wearing glasses.

But upon watching her a little, her actions seemed (to me) to be less affected by any ailment and more dictated by her needs at the moment. She needed that item on that shelf, and it didn't seem to matter to her that there might already be people where she needs to be. Hence the bumping into people.

Even if she had legitimate ailments that contributed to her behavior, not once was she heard to utter any form of apology or acknowledgement of the incidents.

The next thing she did seemed to further my opinion that she was just being selfish. I was headed towards the checkout, closer to the available cash than she was. This older, senior lady noticed and picked up her pace, she pretty much was jogging by the time she passed me with her buggy and glided into the checkout just ahead of me. Hmm, I guess she was in a rush, which is exactly what I said out loud to her. She ignored me, and I went to another cash.

You might think the story ends here, but it does not. Coincidently I was parked right behind her in the lot. She was just finishing unloading her cart as I was approaching my car. She put her last two bags in the trunk, closed the lid, and then got into her car. The logical (and considerate) next step after closing the trunk would be to return the cart to the buggy area. No, she chose to leave it behind her car.

In Jessica fashion, I felt the desire to say something to her. I walked over to her window (she hadn't driven away yet). She wouldn't roll down her window (can't say I blame her) but I spoke loud enough for her to hear. "You're just going to leave your cart right there?" I asked, and was returned with a blank look and a shrug. "You're just gonna leave it, right there." I said again, and she nodded! "Suit yourself" I replied and put her cart away as she drove off.

I have been trying to come up with reasons, justifications, excuses, whatever you want to call them, and to try and see it from her perspective. What would cause someone to behave like that? Already stated, my first reaction is that it was done out of selfishness, lack of awareness, and definitely a lack of courtesy. But did she maybe have better reasons?

1. Was the parking lot icy/snowy? Nope
2. Was it raining/snowing/freezing cold or some other undesirable condition? Nope
3. Was the buggy area far away? Nope (15 feet maybe)
4. Was she in a hurry? I have no real way of knowing that, but even if she was, does that make for a good excuse?
5. Did she just get a call on her cell and there was an emergency somewhere? Highly unlikely as she wasn't witnessed (by me) to be using a cell at any point.
6. Did she have ailments (as I had already asked myself inside the store)? None that were apparent... And even if she had no ailments in the store, who is to say that she didn't hurt herself in some way between the store and her car, I wasn't in a position to witness such...

No matter how I try and think of it from her perspective, I have trouble coming up with something that would make her behavior acceptable... The most acceptable would be some ailment related thing, but then where was her consideration for others in terms of apologizing for her actions?

Maybe I missed something...

in⋅ap⋅pro⋅pri⋅ate

Lately I have been on the topic of the whole disclaimer policy related to being a part of an organization (work, etc) and having to specifically separate that from your personal identity. I am not going to regurgitate those entries, you can read them here, here and here.

What I do want to talk about is what affect such policies may or will eventually have on the hiring process. Will a potential employer ask you about your social online networking or blogs? And what if they did?

I believe that this would be a totally inappropriate thing to ask. I don't think it is a necessary thing, and I think it borders if not crosses privacy invasion.

But I wonder what you think, so I have included two polls (---> look to the right --->)...

I appreciate your comments too.


in⋅ap⋅pro⋅pri⋅ate the opposite of: ap⋅pro⋅pri⋅ate [uh-proh-pree-it]
as defined by Random House Dictionary, © Random House, Inc. 2009, courtesy of dictionary.com
1. suitable or fitting for a particular purpose

also known as: wrong [rawng, rong]
as defined by Random House Dictionary, © Random House, Inc. 2009, courtesy of dictionary.com
1. not in accordance with what is morally right or good
3. not correct in action, judgement, opinion, method, etc.
4. not proper or usual; not in accordance with requirements or recommended practice
6. not suitable or appropriate
8. that which is wrong, or not in accordance with morality, goodness, or truth

or: im⋅prop⋅er [im-prop-er]
as defined by Random House Dictionary, © Random House, Inc. 2009, courtesy of dictionary.com
2. not in accordance with propriety of behavior, manners, etc.
3. unsuitable or inappropriate, as for the purpose or occasion
4. abnormal or irregular

repudiation

I still have some lingering and somewhat random thoughts related to the theme of the last two blog entries I made. The topic is: employment policies that relate to personal social networking and/or personal blogs, and how employees are being required to include a disclaimer on their personal things that separate them as an individual from them as the team-member affiliated with the employer.

I have been mulling about these ideas for days and still have not come up with a way to properly articulate my thoughts on them. So, I am going to cheat and take the easy way out and just list them as food for thought. Maybe I will add a note or two, but looking for your comments/thoughts as well.

1. Does the requirement of such a disclaimer on personal blogs/identities by existence show we have something to "hide" or possibly be ashamed of?
My thoughts here are kinda like this... By stating that "the thoughts or opinions in a personal blog do not represent the organization" to me gives an indication for the reader/viewer to EXPECT to read something that is not in line with say my day job. Does this disclaimer "set me up" so to speak, in terms of having people presume things before even reading?
These thoughts stem from my belief that people are inherently incapable of being objective.

2. I think that having to put a disclaimer on my personal stuff says more about the reader than me the writer.
I have stated before that while I am able to compartmentalize and separate people at work from people not at work (in terms of who they are and how they may act) and that other people are not. My first, and not necessarily nice or politically correct reaction, is that this fact is actually more of an insult to those others. Therefore such a disclaimer says less about me and more about someone else's ignorance or inability.

3. I believe that what people at work think or know about who I REALLY am doesn't necessarily matter too much in the grand scheme of things.
In the summary of my first entry on this topic I indicated that it really only matters what God thinks. But to extend that a little further, I believe that Biblically God has set my life's priorities for me, and because of this, my "not really caring what strangers think" isn't specifically un-Biblical. The priorities set for me are as follows, in order (which is important). 1. GOD 2. HUSBAND 3. FAMILY 4. FRIENDS and 5. EVERYONE ELSE. So the people I really have to "answer to" are already the ones who know me best and quite frankly, the ones who can see right through me. They know how to "take things" that I say, they know whether or not I am offensive, and when they talk to me I really listen because they get to the root of the issue and I don't have to sort through all kinds of fluff to determine what their problem really is.

I guess that is it for now... But I did have an interesting conversation the other day about this whole topic and how it relates to the hiring process, and what affect my personal blog has on me being an ideal candidate. I have a few interesting things to write about, and even have a poll or two in mind... stay tuned for that!