can't make it happen before it's supposed to

I had this pretty cool opportunity to do something... well, something AWESOME. It doesn't even matter what the awesome thing was, because it is not something that is actually going to happen.
Why? The opportunity was flawed.

1. It was MY opportunity, not OURS. It was most likely completely unrealistic of me to think it could have happened, and unfair of me to even have suggested/requested it of my 'other half.'
2. If there was any US in the opportunity, the other was another guy! Don't go reading into it, it would have been a platonic thing, however, still the very thought of that to a husband is indeed scarier than I gave credit to.
3. If the tables were turned, I would not have been okay with it. Realistically, there probably wouldn't be anything my husband could say that would make me feel comfortable with him being out with another woman, no matter the circumstances, and I just asked him to be okay with it for me. (I am thinking the word hypocrite may apply here!?) I was blinded by my selfish excitement at this opportunity that I didn't stop and think about it. I would have come to this conclusion before even starting down the path, instead of at midnight the night before it was to happen!
4. It is supposed to be OUR opportunity. There are some basic plans for my husband and I to explore this opportunity together. Its not something that can happen for us right now, but something that is likely achievable in the not too distant future. I am feeling like a heel for thinking that it would be okay for me not to wait for us to do it together.

So the choice or decision was made, and as stated previously, its not happening... just yet. But I do look forward to the day when it can happen, when the circumstances are right. And won't that make the experience all the more better anyway?