year in review

It has been a pretty eventful and stressful year. But also a year filled with blessings, many of them unexpected and a couple of them quite sudden. Here are the highlights of 2009.

January

January was a tough month. I was temporarily laid off (seasonal work) and was expecting only part-time work when things resumed next door. Jeff had been doing some temping in December, but January brought along a halt to that. Jeff ended up taking a telemarketing job, certainly not his favorite and way out of his comfort zone. But we needed the money, and I am happy that he did what needed to be done for us. I started job searching, more for a second part-time job, but had applied to some full time jobs as well.

January also brought on the somewhat humiliated feeling of having to borrow money from someone. I wasn't sure if this person would do it, but they came through, and that was a blessed surprise.

There were a couple house showings in January, but no interest. January brought month 3 of the FOR SALE sign out front.

February

Jeff's telemarketing job continues and I am back to work part-time at the greenhouses next door. But things there are busier than expected, and full time work is available to me. However, in the meantime I had been interviewing and was offered a part-time job with more pay. Jeff and I worked some things out with our current employers, and we both ended up working two part time jobs which had us both at work 6 days a week. We "job-shared" at the greenhouse next door (Jeff there when I wasn't, and vice versa). It took a bit to get used to the schedule but more money was coming in.

Again a couple of showings, but no interest in the house. Month 4.

March

March was a better month. First, all our T4s and tax stuff was ready, so I filed taxes. Jeff got a nice chunk of money back, which allowed us to pay off 2/3 of the money we borrowed in January.

Both of us working, me liking my new job much better than Jeff likes his telemarketing one...

March was the end of our listing agreement on our house. We lowered the price, signed for another term, had an open house. Still no interest.

April

Things are running quite well with each working two jobs. More money was coming, bills were being paid, and some back log was being eaten away. We still weren't quite sure where we were going to get the rest of the money owed from what we borrowed in January.

A few house showings, and... no interest :( 6 months!

May

The Spring weather brought on more house showings. Some more detailed interest, and towards the end of the month we saw our first offer! It was a pretty good offer, but conditional on the other people selling their house. We also continued to have other showings, and would have entertained other offers if there were any.

May also brought us a new/renewed contract for a website we had designed and been maintaining for years. This overhaul came with a price, money up front, and the rest upon completion. The upfront money paid the rest of our "loan." And now we just had typical credit card and regular bills.

Work was going well, though Jeff was getting pretty tired of things at the call center, and who can blame him.

June

Well, Jeff finally had enough and decided to leave his telemarketing job. We had done the math and knew that financially we would just squeak by. Especially if our house sold soon, because we had that offer after all.

But the other people's house didn't sell, and they decided not to ask for an extension. So, no offer, back to the house being plain old for sale. We had some showings, and a new offer! Well, don't get too excited yet, it was a pitiful offer that we rejected.

Then the month turned from okay to worse... We were both laid off from our greenhouse job, and were replaced with students when they finished school for the summer. We were grateful to have the job while it lasted, and I will leave it at that.

July

Jeff begins some serious job hunting, and tries to keep busy. I still have my other part-time job and am still working 3 days a week, and its a job I love.

July brought a new offer! Again, this one was conditional on the people selling their house. But our agent was their agent, and we were kept up-to-date on how things were going with their house, and we continued to show ours.

One day at my work I noticed a job posting for "warehouse person" at another branch. I thought that it was something Jeff could do, and gave his info to that branch manager. Jeff was interviewed and was hired, and by the end of the month he had his first pay cheque. In the meantime he had interviewed and even tried out a few other things, but this warehouse job was the one that just worked for us.

The only downside was that Jeff had to get his car back on the road. It was an issue with the catalyst converter, plus he needed an oil change, some brake work,and an e-test. And we needed to renew the sticker. We still didn't have a lot of money up front. But we have retired mechanic friend down the street, and long story short, he and his son (a professional welder) repaired the damage for free! All Jeff had to do was the brakes, which was a struggle (and a long story in itself) but finally done.

August

Things were going well with both our jobs. I was enjoying my two days a week off and getting stuff done at home, and we settled into a routine. There was more money being earned then previously, so we were more comfortable and less stressed.

But the people who offered on our house, nope, their house didn't sell either, and they didn't ask for an extension. Our house was back to being regularly for sale... for a short term... The very next day we had a new offer! This one was conditional only on financing! It was a bit lower than we had hoped for, but still, this was the best overall offer yet! Remember that rejected pathetic offer I mentioned in June? Well, these were the same people with a reasonable offer. It took 5 days, they confirmed their financing, and YES!!!! Jeff and I put up the SOLD sign, a very happy moment indeed. And then the fun began, with just 6 weeks to pack up and move out! This was nearer to the end of the month, closing date Sept 30th (which would be 11 months from the day we initially put it up for sale).

A lot needed to happen in those 6 weeks, as our plan always was to relocate up north. Jobs were needed, and so was a home. Jeff spoke to someone about working from home (telecommuting) for an organization he helped to found. The assumption (based on past experiences) is that it would be a long process, and just hopefully he would be able to start close to our relocate date. The very next day, far less than 24 hours later he received a call and was offered a position! Talk about timing. He then had to resign from his current warehouse job, and in less than a week begin his new job.

The following weekend we made a 1 day trip to up north and looked at 6 apartments. By Monday afternoon we received the call that we got the one we wanted. Now all was left was for me to resign as well, which was tough, because I loved working there.

All of this, and still 1 week of August was left. I began job hunting and we began the process of sorting and packing.

September

What a busy month! I was still working 3 day a week til the end of the month. We sorted the house, I did most of the packing (which is okay, because I had the most time). We had 2 yard sales. We sold stuff on Kijiji and we gave stuff away on Freecycle. We made a trade with our neighbor, they would dispose of all our junk, and we would give them furniture that didn't sell.

Moving day came. No hiccups. It was a busy couple days. Load up on Wednesday, drive up north, Jeff drove the rental, I drove my car with the kitties. Spend night in motel. Unload on Thursday, then drive all the way back down south to return the rental truck. Then drive all the way back to our new home in Jeff's car.

October

The month started out with a whirlwind. The Thursday mentioned above where we unloaded then made the return trip was actually Oct 1st. The first week saw all the boxes unpacked (well, all that were going to be unpacked) and the entire apartment scrubbed from top to bottom. Everything was done in about 5 days.

Then we made a trip to see Jeff's family for Thanksgiving. It was a nice weekend, and such a short drive compared to when we used to do it from down south.

The rest of the month consisted of Jeff working, me job hunting, and trying to keep busy. I did a lot of baking that first month! We also dealt with Cogeco a couple more times than desired, but in the end got a new modem which has been flawless since.

We took advantage of the nice fall weather, explored trails, admired the colors, and saw some wildlife. Beautiful town!

November

Jeff continues to work away. The end of the month marked the end of his 3 month probationary contract, and we are happy to report that they didn't can him and he now has the standard 1 year contract.

I continued job hunting, and trying to stay busy. I scanned all 14 reels of my grandmother's slides, a daunting but rewarding task. I did some more baking. I cleaned twice a week. I made arrangements with the landlord for $100 off rent if I cleaned the common entry way. Boredom and a loss of purpose starts to set in, but I am not discouraged.

November was also the month where I did something very out of the ordinary - I set up the Christmas tree and decorated the house, and it wasn't even December yet! I don't know what I was thinking...

December

This was a month spent chasing kitty away from the Christmas tree. I did Christmas cards, more baking, more job searching, more walking, more trying to stay busy.

I tried, but failed, to see my sister. Failed because the car failed. Had to get some work done to it, and spent a bit of money, but not to bad when all things are considered. The following week was (a successful) second attempt to go see my sister, and it was a wonderful day.

I had a close call with my poor oak tree. :(

Christmas was quiet, with just Jeff and I and a 12lb turkey - lots of leftovers! Presents consisted of us shopping together. We both got some pants and sweaters, I got new winter boots, and Jeff got a new coat.

New Year's Eve will be spent with my sister, then off to see Jeff's family for a few days on New Year's Day. Holidays wrap up and end on my birthday!

See you next year!

the little things

I am pleased to say that as we approach 3 months in the clean and friendly city up North that we are still loving it here. There are so many things about it here that are good for us.

But not everything has turned out how I had planned/hoped. Mainly, I am not working yet, despite my diligence in applying for positions. I guess its just not in the plans... yet anyway.

In the meantime I try and keep busy, though some days I find myself bored, and late afternoon naps at my desk with the kitty on my shoulder have become common, so have early mornings in bed reading with a hot cup of tea (and a kitty very nearby, often on top of the book!) I enjoy the freedom and the time that allows me such luxuries... for now anyway.

A lot of little things get done, mainly cleaning (and cleaning up after kitty). Its not a very big apartment, doesn't take long to clean, and with a messy kitty its a good excuse to clean several times a week.

A lot of walking gets done. Little steps, and when we first got here, those little steps (oh, I should say about a hundred little steps up a steep hill) hurt so bad! Oh my, I had to rest nearly 5 minutes at the top. Now we can do that hill a couple times of day and say, thats not so bad.

This little summary of the Northern life is just that: a summary. One that I hope gets the point across that I (we) are happy here, and despite a few little things, it is such a positive change for us. A long time coming, and we are enjoying the rewards of many years of patient anticipation.

its just a tree

It happened a few weeks ago... One of the people who live upstairs knocked on our door and asked about the tree outside (small, pathetic looking oak tree in a 35 gallon black nursery pot that was sitting near the front door). She wanted to warn us, in a way.

Here is what she told me: The people who own the house next door saw her and asked if the tree was hers, she told them it was ours. The neighbors then proceeded to tell her the tree was ugly and 'dead.' To which she indicated again that it was not hers and they should talk to us. The neighbors then mentioned our landlord's name, saying they were going to complain to him.

She wanted to tell us just in case the tree went "missing" and we were wondering what happened to it. I thanked her then put a note in the pot and moved the tree to the side of the house.

I find a few faults with the entire scenario:

1. As soon as they were told they should talk to us, they should have. They did not.
2. The ugly part is debatable, but "dead?" Its winter, all coniferous trees look dead, were they thinking of cutting down the woods too?
3. What business was it of theirs anyway? Its my tree in "my" yard...

I guess no matter where you live, sometimes neighbors are a thing you can do without.

Oh, the note I put in the tree basically said that it belongs to me, is not dead, rather its dead appearance should be attributed to the fact that its winter. And I politely asked that no one disposes of my tree.

One might think its just a tree, what's even the big deal if they got rid of it? First, its a living tree, why destroy a tree if you do not have to. Second, it wasn't their tree to do anything with. And third, the tree actually has a bit of sentimental value to me.

When I was in elementary school I came home with this little sapling spruce tree. My Mom helped me to pot it and care for it, trimming here, fertilizing there. This little oak tree I now have started out as a tiny little stem with 1 leaf. I remembered Mom's teachings and wondered if I could bring this desperate little oak sapling to life. Sure enough, within 3 years its grown to about 3 feet tall, and (in the summer) looks very much alive.

what is courtesy anyway?

One thing that seems to really bug me about people in general is courtesy, rather, lack thereof. I think so many things in life could be "better" if people were a bit more old-fashioned in their ways of treating one another. Common courtesy is less and less common these days.

I have been known to blog (okay, rant) about cell phone usage, and to me this is an example of lack of courtesy. Just so happens to be a bigger one, in the regard that lack of courtesy while driving is dangerous and can have serious ramifications.

Nonetheless, there are many other experiences that could be improved if courtesy was considered to be an important attribute. Take my trip to the grocery store yesterday. There was an older lady (not tooo old, but a senior) who was just all over the place in the store with her cart. I witnessed her bang into people, and she bumped my cart once. I tried to notice if she had any discernible ailments, but I didn't notice anything. Perhaps it was her eyesight, she was wearing glasses.

But upon watching her a little, her actions seemed (to me) to be less affected by any ailment and more dictated by her needs at the moment. She needed that item on that shelf, and it didn't seem to matter to her that there might already be people where she needs to be. Hence the bumping into people.

Even if she had legitimate ailments that contributed to her behavior, not once was she heard to utter any form of apology or acknowledgement of the incidents.

The next thing she did seemed to further my opinion that she was just being selfish. I was headed towards the checkout, closer to the available cash than she was. This older, senior lady noticed and picked up her pace, she pretty much was jogging by the time she passed me with her buggy and glided into the checkout just ahead of me. Hmm, I guess she was in a rush, which is exactly what I said out loud to her. She ignored me, and I went to another cash.

You might think the story ends here, but it does not. Coincidently I was parked right behind her in the lot. She was just finishing unloading her cart as I was approaching my car. She put her last two bags in the trunk, closed the lid, and then got into her car. The logical (and considerate) next step after closing the trunk would be to return the cart to the buggy area. No, she chose to leave it behind her car.

In Jessica fashion, I felt the desire to say something to her. I walked over to her window (she hadn't driven away yet). She wouldn't roll down her window (can't say I blame her) but I spoke loud enough for her to hear. "You're just going to leave your cart right there?" I asked, and was returned with a blank look and a shrug. "You're just gonna leave it, right there." I said again, and she nodded! "Suit yourself" I replied and put her cart away as she drove off.

I have been trying to come up with reasons, justifications, excuses, whatever you want to call them, and to try and see it from her perspective. What would cause someone to behave like that? Already stated, my first reaction is that it was done out of selfishness, lack of awareness, and definitely a lack of courtesy. But did she maybe have better reasons?

1. Was the parking lot icy/snowy? Nope
2. Was it raining/snowing/freezing cold or some other undesirable condition? Nope
3. Was the buggy area far away? Nope (15 feet maybe)
4. Was she in a hurry? I have no real way of knowing that, but even if she was, does that make for a good excuse?
5. Did she just get a call on her cell and there was an emergency somewhere? Highly unlikely as she wasn't witnessed (by me) to be using a cell at any point.
6. Did she have ailments (as I had already asked myself inside the store)? None that were apparent... And even if she had no ailments in the store, who is to say that she didn't hurt herself in some way between the store and her car, I wasn't in a position to witness such...

No matter how I try and think of it from her perspective, I have trouble coming up with something that would make her behavior acceptable... The most acceptable would be some ailment related thing, but then where was her consideration for others in terms of apologizing for her actions?

Maybe I missed something...

in⋅ap⋅pro⋅pri⋅ate

Lately I have been on the topic of the whole disclaimer policy related to being a part of an organization (work, etc) and having to specifically separate that from your personal identity. I am not going to regurgitate those entries, you can read them here, here and here.

What I do want to talk about is what affect such policies may or will eventually have on the hiring process. Will a potential employer ask you about your social online networking or blogs? And what if they did?

I believe that this would be a totally inappropriate thing to ask. I don't think it is a necessary thing, and I think it borders if not crosses privacy invasion.

But I wonder what you think, so I have included two polls (---> look to the right --->)...

I appreciate your comments too.


in⋅ap⋅pro⋅pri⋅ate the opposite of: ap⋅pro⋅pri⋅ate [uh-proh-pree-it]
as defined by Random House Dictionary, © Random House, Inc. 2009, courtesy of dictionary.com
1. suitable or fitting for a particular purpose

also known as: wrong [rawng, rong]
as defined by Random House Dictionary, © Random House, Inc. 2009, courtesy of dictionary.com
1. not in accordance with what is morally right or good
3. not correct in action, judgement, opinion, method, etc.
4. not proper or usual; not in accordance with requirements or recommended practice
6. not suitable or appropriate
8. that which is wrong, or not in accordance with morality, goodness, or truth

or: im⋅prop⋅er [im-prop-er]
as defined by Random House Dictionary, © Random House, Inc. 2009, courtesy of dictionary.com
2. not in accordance with propriety of behavior, manners, etc.
3. unsuitable or inappropriate, as for the purpose or occasion
4. abnormal or irregular

repudiation

I still have some lingering and somewhat random thoughts related to the theme of the last two blog entries I made. The topic is: employment policies that relate to personal social networking and/or personal blogs, and how employees are being required to include a disclaimer on their personal things that separate them as an individual from them as the team-member affiliated with the employer.

I have been mulling about these ideas for days and still have not come up with a way to properly articulate my thoughts on them. So, I am going to cheat and take the easy way out and just list them as food for thought. Maybe I will add a note or two, but looking for your comments/thoughts as well.

1. Does the requirement of such a disclaimer on personal blogs/identities by existence show we have something to "hide" or possibly be ashamed of?
My thoughts here are kinda like this... By stating that "the thoughts or opinions in a personal blog do not represent the organization" to me gives an indication for the reader/viewer to EXPECT to read something that is not in line with say my day job. Does this disclaimer "set me up" so to speak, in terms of having people presume things before even reading?
These thoughts stem from my belief that people are inherently incapable of being objective.

2. I think that having to put a disclaimer on my personal stuff says more about the reader than me the writer.
I have stated before that while I am able to compartmentalize and separate people at work from people not at work (in terms of who they are and how they may act) and that other people are not. My first, and not necessarily nice or politically correct reaction, is that this fact is actually more of an insult to those others. Therefore such a disclaimer says less about me and more about someone else's ignorance or inability.

3. I believe that what people at work think or know about who I REALLY am doesn't necessarily matter too much in the grand scheme of things.
In the summary of my first entry on this topic I indicated that it really only matters what God thinks. But to extend that a little further, I believe that Biblically God has set my life's priorities for me, and because of this, my "not really caring what strangers think" isn't specifically un-Biblical. The priorities set for me are as follows, in order (which is important). 1. GOD 2. HUSBAND 3. FAMILY 4. FRIENDS and 5. EVERYONE ELSE. So the people I really have to "answer to" are already the ones who know me best and quite frankly, the ones who can see right through me. They know how to "take things" that I say, they know whether or not I am offensive, and when they talk to me I really listen because they get to the root of the issue and I don't have to sort through all kinds of fluff to determine what their problem really is.

I guess that is it for now... But I did have an interesting conversation the other day about this whole topic and how it relates to the hiring process, and what affect my personal blog has on me being an ideal candidate. I have a few interesting things to write about, and even have a poll or two in mind... stay tuned for that!

extended caution

I am continuing with my thoughts on the topic of disclaimers/warnings/cautions as they relate to having a personal identity that is separate from any affiliations with groups/companies/organizations. I originally blogged about the fact that many places of employment require their employees to put a disclaimer on their personal blog or social networking identity.

In that entry I indicated that though I do not disagree with such policies, I do however feel that something is missing, especially for Christian organizations. Here are a few of those:

1. Individuals have the right to personal thoughts and the expressions of those thoughts
This point doesn't really need a whole lot of explanation, especially from a societal perspective. But lets take a moment and look at it from a Biblical perspective. God created us with free will, free thoughts, and the ability to make choices. I think its implied here that He never intended us to be all uniform in our ways, because He could easily have made us into whatever He wanted. God chose not to create mindless drones. He chose to create us as individuals, and the importance of this is not lost on me. I think that God had planned all along for us to have differing views on things, and to have ideas that someone else may not have come up with. These things spark collaboration and networking, they spark new and creative ways of doing things. Yes, they also tend to spark debates, arguments, hatred and worse. (But that only happens when we take things too personally and allow pride to get in the way of the greater good).
What I am really trying to say here is that if God wanted me to "be just like you" He would have made me that way. The fact that He didn't tells me that I am not necessarily wrong or evil to have my own thoughts on a subject.

2. Individuals have the right to NOT read, watch or listen to things that they disagree with, or are offended by
I have definitely touched on this in various entries over my blogging history. I am going to keep this simple by letting you read this post. The most important line in that entry that I want to highlight here is this:

The last time I started to read something that offended me, do you know what I did? I STOPPED READING IT! And the last time I read an entire thing that offended me, do you know what I did? I contacted that person and had an open and healthy discussion about it!

Too many times people make assumptions. In most forms of communication (even sometimes in face-to-face encounters) its hard to tell the "tone" or implications of writing. Some things are taken the wrong way, taken out of context, etc. Sometimes people assume that you mean things a certain way, simply because they think you are always that "way..."

3. As Christians, we have the responsibility to pray for people who we feel are off-base with their personal facebook statuses, or their personal blog entries.
This is unfortunately the most important part that is too often overlooked. I will speak of personal experiences. I have had people tell me that my words or actions have offended them (no real surprise there) and its not something that makes me proud or happy. In fact it sometimes makes me feel sad and ashamed (depending of course on the issue and/or the person). I have had people tell me that I am a terrible person who needs "help" (help of the professional kind). I have had people say things like "I am only telling you this because I am concerned for you..." A typical but unspoken response of mine would likely be to refer to Luke 6:41-42, but I have found that gets me into even more trouble, and often incorrectly mistaken as a defence mechanism. So instead my "new" typical retaliation is to ask that person "Have you prayed for me?"
This is where it gets interesting... After the initial awkward reaction of fidgeting, staring at toes or ceiling, accompanied by a shade of red in the cheeks, the conversation is often over. Its interesting to me how few (Christians) have replied with the answer YES. Many simply do not respond, but worse than that are the responses that would make me feel that I am not even worthy of being prayed for.
You see the point here is this: As Christians, we are responsible not only to God and ourselves, but we are responsible to each other. We are to hold each other accountable and do what we can (within Biblical means) to maintain or restore each other to a right relationship with God. That is to be our ONLY motive - bringing glory to God. If someone is offended by something I write/say/do, and they do not pray, that is a significant problem.


A typical "disclaimer policy" will read similar to this:
...any personal blogs or other information shared online that could reflect on the [organization] must have a disclaimer stating that the author does not represent the [organization]...

Here is what I think would be a more effective, and more respectful, disclaimer policy:
...we recognize and respect your right to personal thoughts and opinions, however, some readers may not be able to separate your individual avocations from those of our organization. We ask that you make special note such that these misunderstandings can be reduced/eliminated.
...we ask that all of our employees remember that your co-workers are also people who are not necessarily 'just like you' and bear in mind that your differences are what make us work better as a team towards our overall mission.
...furthermore, we promise to pray continually for us all. We pray that no matter our thoughts, words, actions, we will recognize that we are all children of Christ, and we deserve to be treated as such.

warning

Many companies/organizations out there either have for quite some time or are just instituting employee policies when it comes to personal accounts on social networking (facebook, for example) or personal blogs. They are requiring that their employees put a disclaimer (A repudiation or denial of responsibility or connection -- American Heritage Dictionary) of sorts, stating that this is the personal space of so-and-so and the thoughts, ideas, etc... are not representative of the organization.

Sometimes I think or ask, why do we need to do this? Who I am at work and who I am at home are not necessarily the same, and can't people compartmentalize? The short and easy answer is, no, people cannot...

Just the other day I was watching a re-run of Stargate SG-1 on DVD. The episode dealt with this issue - sort of... it dealt with something very similar anyway, the fact that when you are part of a group, even when you are acting alone, outside of the group, people will make the assumption that you are still acting as part of the group.

Teal'c (an alien) is part of the team SG-1, which is made up of two earthlings from the military, two aliens, and one earthling civilian. In this episode Teal'c decided to seek revenge on another alien, part of a group that has a somewhat weak alliance with earth. The people from earth, the US military to be exact who run the SG program, were worried that his actions would be mistaken as represenative of earth, and would therefore jeopardize and progress made. Teal'c, like me, thought that people should just "know" the difference. But all across the galaxy everyone made the assumption that the SG command were worried about. You see, Teal'c has been an integral member of SG-1 for about 10 years, and often has gone out alone, but on earth business. Why would this be any different, especially because the guy he was going after was a bad guy to a lot of people, and it would even be conceivable that earth would want to "do something" about this guy too.

So, their concerns were justified.

To add to the situation, and to extend the point of people's assumptions... Even when Teal'c specifically told people in the galaxy that his revenge was not an earthling plan, and that he was acting alone, people still had difficulty separating Teal'c the individual from Teal'c the team member.

So, their concerns were not only justified, but if anything, they underestimated the extent of Teal'c's affiliation with earth...

I wonder then, will a disclaimer really even help? Don't get me wrong, I am not suggesting that organizations flat out prohibit their employees from having personal blogs, etc... I don't think that is right, or fair, or even legal?? But I wonder if a disclaimer is enough...

I wonder if I have to put a disclaimer on my blog because my ideas are so radically different from the organization I work for, then is there a misalignment between me and the organization in general, should I even be working there?

I wonder why the whole warning/disclaimer issue is so one-sided... There are other aspects here, and I will summarize:

• Individuals have the right to personal thoughts and the expressions of those thoughts
• Individuals have the right to NOT read, watch or listen to things that they disagree with, or are offended by
• As Christians, we have the responsibility to pray for people who we feel are off-base with their personal facebook statuses, or their personal blog entries.

Why these things are never mentioned in conjunction with the whole disclaimer thing is (to me) something that is lacking (I do plan to blog in more detail on these three points soon)...

Ultimately... it doesn't matter what I do or do not write, read, watch, say, think, when it comes to other people's reactions to them. Really, it matters what God thinks of it. I may be out of line sometimes, but God will help straighten me out, especially if those people who tell me "you shouldn't write that" also prayed to God "please help her not to write that again, and/or help me understand and be sympathetic..." you get the idea, I think.

lady picture show

I have been busy this past week with a project that is both fun and not-so-fun, both easy and daunting. Its all a matter of perspective of course...

Well over a year ago I blogged about my grandmother's slides that were so thoughtlessly discarded. For months I was both saddened and angered by that act, and chose to let the reels of slides sit in my closet. I had intended to scan them, someday...

But then we started some projects around the house, and things got busy. Oh well, I will get back to those slides, someday...

But then we put our house up for sale, and at any time there could be showings. Having projects strewn about was not possible, so I had to wait until the house sold, someday...

But it took 11 months from start to finish to sell our house, and the pile of slides just sat there, not being enjoyed, and worse, further degrading in terms of its medium (slides, negatives and photos don't last forever!) I needed to get to them, someday...

This week that day came! I realized that I need to do it now, while I have the time, and not wait for some other day. Its a big project, because there are a lot of slides! Most are nicely sorted into reels (11 of them, though some are only partially full) but there are also a bunch just loose in a bag.

In addition, there are more reels at my sister's house - ironically (or not so much) there were some reels that were not thrown away - the reels with "our" family, ones that my father must've thought meant something to him... (gonna stop that train of thought now, already expressed my frustration in that previous blog entry)...

And after the slides are done, come the box(es) of photographs...

But you know what? With all the bad aspects of doing this project (time consuming, etc), there are so many more good things - like seeing all these cool old photos, like reminiscing when I see a person or place that I have memories of, like knowing that eventually when the project is done that ALL of my family (immediate, extended, etc...) will be able to enjoy them too!

reaching my potential

** this post was written a long, long time ago, and left forgotten as a draft... but I will post it now anyway... **

I reacted somewhat poorly to a blog entry that a friend made. Not in any way to offend my friend, and I hope I didn't - but I reacted because sometimes I get tired of certain things.

Perhaps its bitterness, or just a longing for what I never had, but I don't always feel so special and privileged in the sense of automatically being more so than a person of color, a black person specifically, as the entry suggests...

Apparently I have more potential of growing up to be of higher class than I was when I was a child than a person of color does of growing up to be white.

Um, no kidding?

Seriously, I know this argument is more than about the color of skin, its the perceptions that people have related to that skin color. It is more likely for me to be in control of my future financial and social status than it is for a person of color to be in control of another's thoughts and opinions of them. However, my class and value, my worth in society are also dependent on other people's perceptions of me.

and it ends...

About this time last year I started working for our neighbor in his greenhouses. What started out as a summer gig turned into a "we can probably keep you busy until Christmas" which turned into "there is some work after Christmas..."

You get the idea... The summer gig turned into a permanent job, some full time, and some part time. Then this February when I started my other part-time job my husband took over my other days next door and we were both working there.

But as the title of this post indicates.. Its coming to an end, as of the end of next week we are both laid off. Yes, that sucks... But more importantly, I am focusing on the fact that I (we both) were given jobs when we needed them, and had opportunities that we are truly appreciative of.

Now we just wait and see what the future holds. But I have faith in my Lord.

more on my favorite pet peeve

In case you hadn't gotten it from several of my previous posts, my favorite pet peeve has to be cell phone use. This post is going to be more about sharing two different news stories – yes, real stories that have been in the new somewhat recently, not just my own rantings on the subject.


The first story has to do with the 'fact' (I will use that term loosely for now, because the general population is not in agreement that this indeed a fact) that cell phone usage is ultimately dangerous.

A young woman in Toronto was killed and the only reason for her death was her cellphone usage. Her death was 100% preventable, and in my opinion 99.9% her own fault. Don't get me wrong, I am not at all happy in her death, I think its very sad, and very unfortunate. But it was also preventable. I feel especially bad for the driver of the truck, who couldn't possibly have seen her, as she was the one who walked into the truck. But maybe 0.1% was his fault, because if it were me, I would have noticed the woman on the corner chatting away on her cell, and honestly (this might be the saddest part yet) I probably would have expected her to do something stupid, like walk out in front of my car. I have been driving enough to see cell phone users (both pedestrian and drivers) do really stupid things, simply because they are not paying attention. It is sad that other drivers and other pedestrians now have to be prepared for even more craziness on the roads because of cell phone usage.

This story only affirms my belief that cellphone usage is too disruptive and too distracting to be in place 100% of the time.



The next story has a different twist, no one dies, no one is injured. However, this story also affirms my belief that cellphone usage is very much disrespectful. I do not like it when I am almost side-swiped, cut-off or rear-ended on the streets by cellphone using drivers. But I also don't like it when I am hit in the grocery store by a cellphone using buggy pusher. If you are anywhere and other people are around, YOU must be aware of your surroundings, and YOU must not infringe on other people's rights to be safe while upholding your own supposed right to talk on the phone wherever you want.

The setting is a high school in BC. Like many schools it has a cellphone ban in effect. And like many schools, the students (and even some teachers) are not respecting the rules. Putting effective disciplinary measures in place proves to be challenging, because (for some reason) these kids (and the few teachers) believe it is their “right” to use their cellphones whenever and wherever they want.
You may have guessed that I certainly don't agree that this is a RIGHT... A privilege maybe, but a RIGHT?? Nope, not in my books.

But back to the school. Seems the teachers and principal were at their wits end with this. The principal did something that is rather brave, and something that I could see myself doing if I were in a similar position, but unfortunately it was also something illegal. He went online and bought a cellphone jammer from China, had it delivered then installed it in the school.

Didn't take long for the students to notice their phones weren't working. I ask – if you (student) was obeying the cellphone ban, how would you have noticed the jammer? Its pretty obvious to me that the only way you could have noticed the jammer was when you went to use your cell and it wasn't working.
Unfortunately though, two wrongs don't make a right. The principal had to unplug and stop using the jammer. I agree with that. What I don't agree with so much are the rest of the arguments made by the students (and some parents, some teachers, even some government officials).

1. It's illegal to use the jammer. I agree with this, and understand why it is illegal.
2. It takes away the rights of the cell phone user. Not agreeing with this – its NO ONE's right to talk or text whenever they want, with complete disregard for their surroundings.
3. It takes away their ability to contact parents/guardians in cases of emergency. Not agreeing with this – there is always another way. Its called a regular phone, as old-fashioned as it might seem. Or a pay phone (even though they now cost a whopping 50 cents!) In cases of emergency, the school office should already know and make that call to the parent/guardian. And if the parent needs to reach the kid – again, call the school office, that is what they are there for.
4. It is archaic and contrary to the social develop needs of today – Though I understand why this argument is made, I still don't agree. I don't agree that society today should be so wrapped around their little gadgets. And they speak of social development... the last time I spoke in person to someone that does about 95% of their communicating electronically, well, lets just say that it was actually very hard to carry on a conversation with them – its almost as if they didn't even know how to talk in real-life. They kept saying - "wow, communicating is so much easier online." Though I myself use email as my primary method of communication, I am not inept in regular personal face-to-face encounters. And my preference towards email usage has a lot more to do with the fact that email allows both me and the recipient to communicate at a time most convenient to ourselves.

I guess I just wonder about the whole “its my right to use my cellphone” deal. Is it really your *right* to potentially danger yourself and others? Is it your *right* to be distracting? Is it your *right* to be an impaired nuisance or worse? If it is really your *right*, then it should also be MY RIGHT not to be bothered, inconvenienced, endangered or killed by your cell usage. Unfortunately your rights seem to outweigh my rights.

I remember something about my mother – who never had an answering machine or voice mail. She used to say “if its important enough, they will call back.” If its an emergency, someone will find some other way of reaching you, and you can find some other way of reaching them. Unfortunately for that woman in Toronto, she lost her life for her *right* to her cellphone use. And our children are giving up their right to a proper education, because for some reason their *right* to chat with their friends (which I believe is the MAIN reason for their cell using, NOT to call parents in emergency situations – because emergencies just don't happen that often) outweighs their right to be educated.

And this might even stem into another blog entry – what constitutes an emergency these days? I guess that since luxuries have turned into necessities, and privileges have turned into rights, that anything can be considered an emergency.

happenings of late

The focus of life lately has consisted mostly of work. Working during the day, working during the evenings. Motivation is low, its hard to get motivated to do a whole lot. Its much easier to be motivated to sit around and watch TV. Its easy to forget our problems and frustrations when we are watching someone else's on TV.

If we aren't working, we are trying not to be frustrated and impatient with our house not yet being sold. We seriously didn't think it was going to take this long. But when we set this whole thing in motion late last summer / early fall, we certainly didn't know the market was going to tank and the whole economy was going to crash.

Is it still the right time to sell? Who really knows. Some properties are selling, others are not. Ours is a bit unique as opposed to people who live “in town.” Rural properties appeal to less people, and especially a property that is located right next to a (small) greenhouse operation. I wish potential buyers would believe it when I say that you really don't notice the fans and noise after a week or so, it just becomes part of the environment.

But which is worse? Traffic, honking, cars, people... or the hum of fans that are there to moderate the temperatures in a greenhouse that holds thousands of beautiful plants? I would take the fans any day. But that's what makes the property a bit unique. Not everyone wants to live out in “the sticks” in the first place.

We still think that selling is the right choice for us. Our original goals are still on the table. Other than our house not yet selling, there is nothing to indicate that these goals should not be our goals. We are not receiving any clear (or unclear) messages that we should be pursuing anything else.

In the meantime, patience is a virtue, and we are sure gaining experience in that regard. We are doing our best to make things work, to make ends meet, and to be content. Our relationship is stronger because of it, and our commitment to each other has not faltered. Its interesting how struggles can bring people together, just like sometimes struggles can push people apart.

All I can say is that without the strength and support of my husband, I would never be able to do this – this “game” of wondering and waiting. The support and encouragement we offer each other is something that I will not trade for anything.

the new job

I have been at my new (second) part-time job for just over a month now. I figured its time to blog about it. It didn't take long at all for me to feel like I fit in here. People here are friendly, easy-going, and they like to have a good time.

Don't get me wrong, we all get our work done, but the philosophy here is that we should have as much fun as possible while doing it. Throughout the day you can hear joking and laughter, and only occasionally do you hear anything “grumpy.”

Like all work places, the grumpiness comes when things go wrong, or when things are just a bit too busy. But that doesn't happen here too often (so far). Its not always easy to gage when things will get busy, because its a customer-driven environment. There are times of the day when the store-front has lots of customers and the phones are ringing off the hook. There are also times when its so quiet, no activity at all.

I like it here. The job itself is super easy. Some days I am actually downright bored, though I do my best to find things to do. But its not the work itself that I like most about being here. Its the people and the environment that has been created. Its far from a stuffy office, that's for sure. I am also sure that some people might get a bit offended in this environment because people here aren't always so politically correct, aren't always worried about hurting someone's feelings. This is not a bad thing. The people here are REAL, and HONEST. They act like they ARE - and they are good people.

I have worked in other places where the people always walked on eggshells because of the constant fear of being offensive, or the constant wondering how someone will “take” what they have said or done. It creates an uncomfortable, and at times, a hostile environment when people can't be real.

I like it here because these people remind me that we are all human, and it is okay to be human. We work together the best we can to get stuff done, to help each other, and quite frankly – to care. I have these experiences with my (first) part-time job in the greenhouses, and now I have it here. Its nice that I can fill 6 work days a week, and 1 day of rest, with honest natural behavior, and (as surprised as some people might be) – people like me!

I have said before, and this job only confirms it, that the issues that I had at my previous place of employment were not all about me. I am beginning to think more and more that they were much less about me than they were about others. This job is affirmation that I just didn't belong there, and I am glad that it didn't work out, and that I didn't try to “stick it out” because the hostility and bitterness I felt everyday as a result of how I was treated (perceived or real) is just not something I enjoy dealing with in my life.

lights... but no camera, no cells, no action

A long time ago I blogged people's useage (or lack there of) of their lights while driving. I am surprised at how few people realize that not only at dusk, but also during drizzly/foggy/rainy days, that full lights are just a good idea.
Running lights are effective really only when they are your headlights (not dots like my car) and only effective for oncoming traffic. But tail lights should be essential. Say I am driving the speed limit, or just over. You are not. Maybe you are scared because of the weather, maybe you are just preoccupied with something else (talking on your cell maybe). So I come around a corner, and there you are, a slow poke, and I have to hit my breaks harder than I'd like. One might blame me, maybe I'm going too fast. Whatever. All I am saying is that if your tail lights were on, I would have noticed sooner that you were there.
I tend to think things like that are common courtesy. I also tend to think that we as a society have less and less of it as time goes on. Just like we have less and less common sense; less and less morals; less and less love. If we cared a little more about other people, then it would be easier for us to realize how selfish and unobservant we can really be.
Talking on cell phones/texting, even taking pictures on your camera phone while driving tells me that you don't fully *care* about everyone around you. Putting on makeup, or reading something (other than a map, and I still think you should pull over to do that) tells me that you don't fully *care* about everyone around you. Not using headlights and tail lights when the weather or light conditions require it tells me that you don't fully *care* about everyone around you.
Its not just you on the road, we are all on the roads. Your actions could result in serious accidents or worse. Your divided attention behind the wheel could propel your little rocket into someone else's car, whcih cause cascading crashes from there. You could seriously destroy property or other vehicles. You could hurt people and yourself. You could kill people.
Maybe I am being a bit over board on this, but I just want people to get it. When you are driving, you MUST be fully aware of everything going on around you. Even if travelling at slower speeds, but especially at high speeds, the risk is just too great for you to be so in your own little world, so much that you don't seem to have any regard for other people's safety.
I just want people to get it - perhaps reading this list from CAA will help.

some things are good, other(s) not so much

Lately I have been working really hard at finding the blessings in things, working to be content in all situations. Its easy when things go well, not so easy when things fail.

Like my again broken washer... Same problem as last time, the motor has fried. It makes me wonder if there is a different issue that caused the motor to fry, and I wonder if the service guy last time should have been more thorough. But its all too late, as the warranty on the parts was only for 90 days. How do I find the blessing in that? Okay, on one hand, I don't have to do laundry, because I can't. That frees up time to do other things, like write this blog entry... However, its only a matter of time before I will need to do laundry... I guess a trip to the neighbor's will be in order until we find the means to repair or replace the machine.

But other things are going good. Hubby and I are getting along very well. We have both re-focused our attention on each other, and do much better at treating each other with respect and honor. That is a wonderful blessing.

We had 3 house showings last week, that is cool. One person in particular has shown a lot of interest, and perhaps an offer is coming, now *that* would be a HUGE blessing!

I start a new part-time job this week, that pays more than either of our current jobs. In fact, in order to maximize our time and what we get paid, hubby will also work his current job only part-time. The two of us will then share my current job... Seems strange on the surface, but the benefits outweigh any confusion and annoyance. First, we don't have to put the other car back on the road, as the days I need the car, hubby works next door, and vice-versa. Second, because we will be working a total of 11 days out of the week (combined) and my additional wages, we should be able to take home almost $200 more per week! Another blessing.

Our relationship with our neighbors is very strong, such they aren't just neighbors, or a boss, they are friends. This has proven to be beneficial for both families, as we are able to share, and help each other out when in need. Blessing.

Due to necessity our spending and consumption of resources has diminished. This could be seen as a bad thing, little money... However, I think that once we are in a better financial position it won't make any difference to our consumption, as we both recognize that we were somewhat wasteful in the past. Saving money, saving resources and consuming less is only a win-win for us and the environment. Yep, you guessed it, Blessing!

Okay, keeping tabs? That's 5 things I can easily find the blessings in, and 1, well not so much... I'd have to say that 5 out of 6 is good. Better than good. I'll take it.

"un"wisdom for the ignorant

I have thought about this post all day, but I am still not sure I will be able to keep my thoughts as coherant as I would like. Bear with me...

The idea started a few weeks ago when I became a more "regular" attendee of LifeChurch.tv. There was this 4-part series called True[ish]. You can watch them via their archives! The pastor was talking about things in this world, in this day and age, that we (even us Christians) hold as true, but in fact they aren't really true at all. Over the few weeks I began to reflect on things that I held as virtues, and I began comparing them to who Jesus was and what He held as virtues. I would like to be able to report that I am "right on track" but I am a sinful human, and I am not anywhere near close to Jesus in those regards. (Nor is anyone else I suspect. And no, that is not a judgement, just a fair comparison of where we ALL stand next to Jesus' examples. Unfortunately we all come up short.)

This pastor of LifeChurch.tv is not what I would refer to as a typical pastor, at least not typical for the denomination I grew up in. Honestly, I don't really think his preaching style would be overly appreciated by most. However, I appreciate how he was able to highlight the absolute truths found in the Bible. He pointed out his own, and all of our flaws, and while doing so, he never once made me feel berated. He did however, remind me how much we fail on a day-to-day basis to act as Jesus' example showed us. How much we fail at "doing justice, loving mercy, and walking humbly with our Lord." Micah 6:8.

I don't really want to get into too much detail on the specifics of his sermons, I really encourage you to watch for youself. What I wanted to focus on is the outstanding question I have, the same question I almost always have when I leave church.

How?

We hear sermons that reflect on Bible passages. We hear what the scriptures mean in layman's terms. We hear how we don't measure up. But to me something is still missing. How do we do it? Where is our tangible check list of things to do or try, our guideline?

Yes, we have the Bible itself, however, it doesn't have these nifty little lists. If you start a new job, or go to learn a new subject in school, you have a trainer/instructor. Then you run through examples to explain the theory. The next step is running through some of those examples on your own, to see how you do, and where you need to make adjustments. One would never try to solve the square root of a number without knowing (or at least have written down) the quadratic equation.

Where is our equation, our list, our instruction manual on the HOW? I get the why. I understand the theory. How do you put it in practice?

has anything changed... for the better?

Recently I watched this video on YouTube. It is a speech by Severn Suzuki at the 1992 UN Earth Summit. I would highly recommend taking 6 and a half minutes from your busy schedule to listen to this (at that time) young girl, barely a teenager, who says things we should all be saying.

It amazes me that this speech is from 1992. The issues she talks about are still very much present today. I asked in the title of this post - has anything changed? Not for the better if you ask me. Things have really only gotten worse. All of the issue she talks about still exist today, and there are even more issues on top of that!

She is a well-spoken, bold young lady. The things she says really made me pause and think of what I can do about things, now. I do some things already to help the environment. I recycle, big time. I conserve, big time. I re-use things. And with all of that, I try to educate people. However, it is never going to be enough, even if every household in the world conserved as much as possible, there are still all those industrial factories consuming more than I ever thought possible.

I have shared before the website called StoryOfStuff. There is another great video there too, but you will need to set aside about 20 minutes. Educating ourselves and each other is one way that we can hopefully stand united against the governments and businesses of this world that are consuming at such an alarming rate, its scary!

I think that especially as a North American society, we need to stop consumerism. We need to stop planned and perceived obsolescence. What we need to do is go back to perhaps the days of our grandparents, when throwing out a used milk bag was unheard of, because didn't you know that you can wash it and then use it for a storage bag?

I will stop now, before I aimlessly go on and on. Preserving and repairing our Earth is something that we must all do together. But ultimately its a personal choice. Only you can decide if you will think twice about tossing something that really can be re-used. Only you can decide to go green.

we've been that time for awhile now

I have been reflecting on this passage from the Holy Bible. Its from Timothy, the author of many of the instructions to the "church."

"For the time will come when men will not put up with sound doctrine. Instead, to suit their own desires, they will gather around them a great number of teachers to say what their itching ears want to hear." 2 Timothy 4:3 (New International Version)

As this blog entry title may indicate, I feel that we (all humans) have been in this time already, and probably have since Timothy first wrote this. Maybe even before he wrote it! I think its human nature to surround ourselves with those who are like us, but more than that, I think that people generally like hearing what they *want* to hear.

I heard someone in a church leadership position use this quote: "if you aren't getting the answers you seek, you are either asking the wrong questions or asking the wrong people." It never occurred to this person that maybe they were seeking the wrong answers in the first place! It never dawned on them that the answers they got were in fact 'sound doctrine.'

The "church" has changed its beliefs many, many times since Timothy wrote this. The "church" has altered its rules in order to adapt to the changes in the world. As more and more things become acceptable in society, they become acceptable in the church. Fundamentally this is wrong. We are to be in the world but not OF the world. Meaning, we are to live here, but not to become what is considered worldly as opposed to what is Biblical. We are NOT to change our beliefs every time society changes it's.

Where would we draw the line? We already allow women in office (as deacons, elders and even pastors). We already allow gays and lesbians in office. We already run our churches like businesses as opposed to the 'movement' it is supposed to be. The church is a communion of saints, not a building full of expenses to be managed like widgets on an inventory line. But society accepts women being equal to men, the entire women's liberation movement achieved that for us (didn't do ME any favors!). Society says that its okay, so now the church does too. I ask, if society ever ends up saying that if someone murders your child you will have the right to shoot them, will the church then think that murder is acceptable? Right now that seems ludicrous, but as recent as 10 years ago the church felt that women in office was ludicrous.

If you ask me, its only a matter of time before the church becomes the world. We are called by God to be disciples. We are called by God to teach His word, and to instruct in the ways of God. We are NOT called by God to set aside our fundamental beliefs simply because it might be deemed offensive to society as a whole. If you read the gospels on how Jesus himself behaved as a child and an adult you will find that He was not afraid or intimidated by the world. Jesus broke all kinds of worldly rules and even some church rules - all in the name of what is Biblically appropriate. He showed us HOW to live, and how to be a Christian. He lead by example, so why aren't we following that example?

I have been accused of hating the church. Well, hate is a very strong word. Even the Bible has something to say about HATE. "He who hates his brother is a murderer and no murderer has eternal life." (1 John 3:15). No, I don't hate the church. I do, however, have some issues with the "church" - which is likely apparent to anyone reading this blog entry, or other blog entries I have written. No, I don't hate the church, but I don't like what organized religion has done to the "church." I am a Christian. I believe in God, His Son, and the Holy Spirit. Its organized religion that I have a problem with, and how man (humans) have taken what God has commanded and made it something other than what God had intended it to be.

I am in no way trying to imply that I am perfect, far from it. I am a sinner just like all the other billions of people in this world. I am not even trying to imply that I feel I am better than anyone else. I just feel that the "church" has steered off course somewhere along the way. I could go into all kinds of examples, but this blog entry is long enough already. Bottom line, I feel that everything we need to know is in the Bible, and I feel its pretty explicit. Sure, we are all different and therefore there is a lot of interpretation, however, when some things are written very clearly, I just have a lot of trouble when human beings spin it to be what they want it to be at the time they want it to be that. I have heard the same person use the same passage to either support or negate the exact same cause, the only difference was how that person *felt* at the time. That kinda summarizes my entire point - we read the Bible and take from it, the only thing that changed was us, not the Bible.

In summary, Timothy was very enlightened (of course he would be, seeing as the entire Bible was written with the inspiration and guidance of God through the Holy Spirit). And who would know better what God intended for the world than God himself??? I think we should stop playing God, and stop pretending that we know better than He. To me, that is the greatest sin of all, changing His Word, because His Word is our cornerstone, our instruction manual, our guide of right vs wrong. The more we change it, the scarier this world becomes. Inevitably we will change His Word so much that it will be our words, then we are truly of the world. That's a problem.

hiding... no, just re-prioritizing

So I haven't been on assbook, sorry facebook, so much lately, and hardly ever on MSN... Someone suggested to me that maybe I am hiding...
No, not hiding. I made a conscious decision to re-prioritize who and what gets my attention. This is the age of information overload. In fact, the average 16 year old makes more decisions in ONE DAY then say my grandfather did in an ENTIRE YEAR. There are so many things that can distract me from what is most important in life.
So, what are my priorities?

1. God - He has commanded us to obey, and that is what I am trying to do. Ironic though that in order to obey Him, I need His help to do it! And I ask for that, all the time.
2. Husband - Ultimately he is the one I will (and WANT) to spend the rest of my life with, but if I don't put my focus on him, I am sending the message that he is not important to me. Nothing could be further from the truth.
3. The rest of our family - Bottom line, family is meant to be there for each other. We might not always get along, but its important to keep those connections. No one said you have to be "best friends" with all your family, but if you can't count on them, who can you count on?
4. Friends - Hopefully none of our friends take offense that they are not #1 in my life, but keep in mind that #4 is only a close #4, and often some friends end up being closer than some family. Such is life. I am grateful for the friends (and family) that I can always count on.
5. Play - This would include watching TV or movies. And cause I am such a dork, computer geek stuff, and shoveling the driveway! (I like being outside, and the exercise is great).
6. Work - Even though for many it consumes more than 1/3 of the day, work is NOT the end all and be all of life. Work can be fun, work can be horrible, but providing for the necessities of life is well, necessary. (I am grateful that I LOVE MY JOB!)
7. Everything else - pretty much self-explanatory.

So far I think I am off to a good start for 2009. Each day presents something new, but with this attitude, I know I can get through anything. Besides, I never walk this world alone, as Jesus lives in my heart, and the Spirit is always here to guide me. I give praise to God for what I have. Sometimes its a struggle ... but God gives us what we need, not always what we want.