extended caution

I am continuing with my thoughts on the topic of disclaimers/warnings/cautions as they relate to having a personal identity that is separate from any affiliations with groups/companies/organizations. I originally blogged about the fact that many places of employment require their employees to put a disclaimer on their personal blog or social networking identity.

In that entry I indicated that though I do not disagree with such policies, I do however feel that something is missing, especially for Christian organizations. Here are a few of those:

1. Individuals have the right to personal thoughts and the expressions of those thoughts
This point doesn't really need a whole lot of explanation, especially from a societal perspective. But lets take a moment and look at it from a Biblical perspective. God created us with free will, free thoughts, and the ability to make choices. I think its implied here that He never intended us to be all uniform in our ways, because He could easily have made us into whatever He wanted. God chose not to create mindless drones. He chose to create us as individuals, and the importance of this is not lost on me. I think that God had planned all along for us to have differing views on things, and to have ideas that someone else may not have come up with. These things spark collaboration and networking, they spark new and creative ways of doing things. Yes, they also tend to spark debates, arguments, hatred and worse. (But that only happens when we take things too personally and allow pride to get in the way of the greater good).
What I am really trying to say here is that if God wanted me to "be just like you" He would have made me that way. The fact that He didn't tells me that I am not necessarily wrong or evil to have my own thoughts on a subject.

2. Individuals have the right to NOT read, watch or listen to things that they disagree with, or are offended by
I have definitely touched on this in various entries over my blogging history. I am going to keep this simple by letting you read this post. The most important line in that entry that I want to highlight here is this:

The last time I started to read something that offended me, do you know what I did? I STOPPED READING IT! And the last time I read an entire thing that offended me, do you know what I did? I contacted that person and had an open and healthy discussion about it!

Too many times people make assumptions. In most forms of communication (even sometimes in face-to-face encounters) its hard to tell the "tone" or implications of writing. Some things are taken the wrong way, taken out of context, etc. Sometimes people assume that you mean things a certain way, simply because they think you are always that "way..."

3. As Christians, we have the responsibility to pray for people who we feel are off-base with their personal facebook statuses, or their personal blog entries.
This is unfortunately the most important part that is too often overlooked. I will speak of personal experiences. I have had people tell me that my words or actions have offended them (no real surprise there) and its not something that makes me proud or happy. In fact it sometimes makes me feel sad and ashamed (depending of course on the issue and/or the person). I have had people tell me that I am a terrible person who needs "help" (help of the professional kind). I have had people say things like "I am only telling you this because I am concerned for you..." A typical but unspoken response of mine would likely be to refer to Luke 6:41-42, but I have found that gets me into even more trouble, and often incorrectly mistaken as a defence mechanism. So instead my "new" typical retaliation is to ask that person "Have you prayed for me?"
This is where it gets interesting... After the initial awkward reaction of fidgeting, staring at toes or ceiling, accompanied by a shade of red in the cheeks, the conversation is often over. Its interesting to me how few (Christians) have replied with the answer YES. Many simply do not respond, but worse than that are the responses that would make me feel that I am not even worthy of being prayed for.
You see the point here is this: As Christians, we are responsible not only to God and ourselves, but we are responsible to each other. We are to hold each other accountable and do what we can (within Biblical means) to maintain or restore each other to a right relationship with God. That is to be our ONLY motive - bringing glory to God. If someone is offended by something I write/say/do, and they do not pray, that is a significant problem.


A typical "disclaimer policy" will read similar to this:
...any personal blogs or other information shared online that could reflect on the [organization] must have a disclaimer stating that the author does not represent the [organization]...

Here is what I think would be a more effective, and more respectful, disclaimer policy:
...we recognize and respect your right to personal thoughts and opinions, however, some readers may not be able to separate your individual avocations from those of our organization. We ask that you make special note such that these misunderstandings can be reduced/eliminated.
...we ask that all of our employees remember that your co-workers are also people who are not necessarily 'just like you' and bear in mind that your differences are what make us work better as a team towards our overall mission.
...furthermore, we promise to pray continually for us all. We pray that no matter our thoughts, words, actions, we will recognize that we are all children of Christ, and we deserve to be treated as such.

warning

Many companies/organizations out there either have for quite some time or are just instituting employee policies when it comes to personal accounts on social networking (facebook, for example) or personal blogs. They are requiring that their employees put a disclaimer (A repudiation or denial of responsibility or connection -- American Heritage Dictionary) of sorts, stating that this is the personal space of so-and-so and the thoughts, ideas, etc... are not representative of the organization.

Sometimes I think or ask, why do we need to do this? Who I am at work and who I am at home are not necessarily the same, and can't people compartmentalize? The short and easy answer is, no, people cannot...

Just the other day I was watching a re-run of Stargate SG-1 on DVD. The episode dealt with this issue - sort of... it dealt with something very similar anyway, the fact that when you are part of a group, even when you are acting alone, outside of the group, people will make the assumption that you are still acting as part of the group.

Teal'c (an alien) is part of the team SG-1, which is made up of two earthlings from the military, two aliens, and one earthling civilian. In this episode Teal'c decided to seek revenge on another alien, part of a group that has a somewhat weak alliance with earth. The people from earth, the US military to be exact who run the SG program, were worried that his actions would be mistaken as represenative of earth, and would therefore jeopardize and progress made. Teal'c, like me, thought that people should just "know" the difference. But all across the galaxy everyone made the assumption that the SG command were worried about. You see, Teal'c has been an integral member of SG-1 for about 10 years, and often has gone out alone, but on earth business. Why would this be any different, especially because the guy he was going after was a bad guy to a lot of people, and it would even be conceivable that earth would want to "do something" about this guy too.

So, their concerns were justified.

To add to the situation, and to extend the point of people's assumptions... Even when Teal'c specifically told people in the galaxy that his revenge was not an earthling plan, and that he was acting alone, people still had difficulty separating Teal'c the individual from Teal'c the team member.

So, their concerns were not only justified, but if anything, they underestimated the extent of Teal'c's affiliation with earth...

I wonder then, will a disclaimer really even help? Don't get me wrong, I am not suggesting that organizations flat out prohibit their employees from having personal blogs, etc... I don't think that is right, or fair, or even legal?? But I wonder if a disclaimer is enough...

I wonder if I have to put a disclaimer on my blog because my ideas are so radically different from the organization I work for, then is there a misalignment between me and the organization in general, should I even be working there?

I wonder why the whole warning/disclaimer issue is so one-sided... There are other aspects here, and I will summarize:

• Individuals have the right to personal thoughts and the expressions of those thoughts
• Individuals have the right to NOT read, watch or listen to things that they disagree with, or are offended by
• As Christians, we have the responsibility to pray for people who we feel are off-base with their personal facebook statuses, or their personal blog entries.

Why these things are never mentioned in conjunction with the whole disclaimer thing is (to me) something that is lacking (I do plan to blog in more detail on these three points soon)...

Ultimately... it doesn't matter what I do or do not write, read, watch, say, think, when it comes to other people's reactions to them. Really, it matters what God thinks of it. I may be out of line sometimes, but God will help straighten me out, especially if those people who tell me "you shouldn't write that" also prayed to God "please help her not to write that again, and/or help me understand and be sympathetic..." you get the idea, I think.

lady picture show

I have been busy this past week with a project that is both fun and not-so-fun, both easy and daunting. Its all a matter of perspective of course...

Well over a year ago I blogged about my grandmother's slides that were so thoughtlessly discarded. For months I was both saddened and angered by that act, and chose to let the reels of slides sit in my closet. I had intended to scan them, someday...

But then we started some projects around the house, and things got busy. Oh well, I will get back to those slides, someday...

But then we put our house up for sale, and at any time there could be showings. Having projects strewn about was not possible, so I had to wait until the house sold, someday...

But it took 11 months from start to finish to sell our house, and the pile of slides just sat there, not being enjoyed, and worse, further degrading in terms of its medium (slides, negatives and photos don't last forever!) I needed to get to them, someday...

This week that day came! I realized that I need to do it now, while I have the time, and not wait for some other day. Its a big project, because there are a lot of slides! Most are nicely sorted into reels (11 of them, though some are only partially full) but there are also a bunch just loose in a bag.

In addition, there are more reels at my sister's house - ironically (or not so much) there were some reels that were not thrown away - the reels with "our" family, ones that my father must've thought meant something to him... (gonna stop that train of thought now, already expressed my frustration in that previous blog entry)...

And after the slides are done, come the box(es) of photographs...

But you know what? With all the bad aspects of doing this project (time consuming, etc), there are so many more good things - like seeing all these cool old photos, like reminiscing when I see a person or place that I have memories of, like knowing that eventually when the project is done that ALL of my family (immediate, extended, etc...) will be able to enjoy them too!

reaching my potential

** this post was written a long, long time ago, and left forgotten as a draft... but I will post it now anyway... **

I reacted somewhat poorly to a blog entry that a friend made. Not in any way to offend my friend, and I hope I didn't - but I reacted because sometimes I get tired of certain things.

Perhaps its bitterness, or just a longing for what I never had, but I don't always feel so special and privileged in the sense of automatically being more so than a person of color, a black person specifically, as the entry suggests...

Apparently I have more potential of growing up to be of higher class than I was when I was a child than a person of color does of growing up to be white.

Um, no kidding?

Seriously, I know this argument is more than about the color of skin, its the perceptions that people have related to that skin color. It is more likely for me to be in control of my future financial and social status than it is for a person of color to be in control of another's thoughts and opinions of them. However, my class and value, my worth in society are also dependent on other people's perceptions of me.

and it ends...

About this time last year I started working for our neighbor in his greenhouses. What started out as a summer gig turned into a "we can probably keep you busy until Christmas" which turned into "there is some work after Christmas..."

You get the idea... The summer gig turned into a permanent job, some full time, and some part time. Then this February when I started my other part-time job my husband took over my other days next door and we were both working there.

But as the title of this post indicates.. Its coming to an end, as of the end of next week we are both laid off. Yes, that sucks... But more importantly, I am focusing on the fact that I (we both) were given jobs when we needed them, and had opportunities that we are truly appreciative of.

Now we just wait and see what the future holds. But I have faith in my Lord.

more on my favorite pet peeve

In case you hadn't gotten it from several of my previous posts, my favorite pet peeve has to be cell phone use. This post is going to be more about sharing two different news stories – yes, real stories that have been in the new somewhat recently, not just my own rantings on the subject.


The first story has to do with the 'fact' (I will use that term loosely for now, because the general population is not in agreement that this indeed a fact) that cell phone usage is ultimately dangerous.

A young woman in Toronto was killed and the only reason for her death was her cellphone usage. Her death was 100% preventable, and in my opinion 99.9% her own fault. Don't get me wrong, I am not at all happy in her death, I think its very sad, and very unfortunate. But it was also preventable. I feel especially bad for the driver of the truck, who couldn't possibly have seen her, as she was the one who walked into the truck. But maybe 0.1% was his fault, because if it were me, I would have noticed the woman on the corner chatting away on her cell, and honestly (this might be the saddest part yet) I probably would have expected her to do something stupid, like walk out in front of my car. I have been driving enough to see cell phone users (both pedestrian and drivers) do really stupid things, simply because they are not paying attention. It is sad that other drivers and other pedestrians now have to be prepared for even more craziness on the roads because of cell phone usage.

This story only affirms my belief that cellphone usage is too disruptive and too distracting to be in place 100% of the time.



The next story has a different twist, no one dies, no one is injured. However, this story also affirms my belief that cellphone usage is very much disrespectful. I do not like it when I am almost side-swiped, cut-off or rear-ended on the streets by cellphone using drivers. But I also don't like it when I am hit in the grocery store by a cellphone using buggy pusher. If you are anywhere and other people are around, YOU must be aware of your surroundings, and YOU must not infringe on other people's rights to be safe while upholding your own supposed right to talk on the phone wherever you want.

The setting is a high school in BC. Like many schools it has a cellphone ban in effect. And like many schools, the students (and even some teachers) are not respecting the rules. Putting effective disciplinary measures in place proves to be challenging, because (for some reason) these kids (and the few teachers) believe it is their “right” to use their cellphones whenever and wherever they want.
You may have guessed that I certainly don't agree that this is a RIGHT... A privilege maybe, but a RIGHT?? Nope, not in my books.

But back to the school. Seems the teachers and principal were at their wits end with this. The principal did something that is rather brave, and something that I could see myself doing if I were in a similar position, but unfortunately it was also something illegal. He went online and bought a cellphone jammer from China, had it delivered then installed it in the school.

Didn't take long for the students to notice their phones weren't working. I ask – if you (student) was obeying the cellphone ban, how would you have noticed the jammer? Its pretty obvious to me that the only way you could have noticed the jammer was when you went to use your cell and it wasn't working.
Unfortunately though, two wrongs don't make a right. The principal had to unplug and stop using the jammer. I agree with that. What I don't agree with so much are the rest of the arguments made by the students (and some parents, some teachers, even some government officials).

1. It's illegal to use the jammer. I agree with this, and understand why it is illegal.
2. It takes away the rights of the cell phone user. Not agreeing with this – its NO ONE's right to talk or text whenever they want, with complete disregard for their surroundings.
3. It takes away their ability to contact parents/guardians in cases of emergency. Not agreeing with this – there is always another way. Its called a regular phone, as old-fashioned as it might seem. Or a pay phone (even though they now cost a whopping 50 cents!) In cases of emergency, the school office should already know and make that call to the parent/guardian. And if the parent needs to reach the kid – again, call the school office, that is what they are there for.
4. It is archaic and contrary to the social develop needs of today – Though I understand why this argument is made, I still don't agree. I don't agree that society today should be so wrapped around their little gadgets. And they speak of social development... the last time I spoke in person to someone that does about 95% of their communicating electronically, well, lets just say that it was actually very hard to carry on a conversation with them – its almost as if they didn't even know how to talk in real-life. They kept saying - "wow, communicating is so much easier online." Though I myself use email as my primary method of communication, I am not inept in regular personal face-to-face encounters. And my preference towards email usage has a lot more to do with the fact that email allows both me and the recipient to communicate at a time most convenient to ourselves.

I guess I just wonder about the whole “its my right to use my cellphone” deal. Is it really your *right* to potentially danger yourself and others? Is it your *right* to be distracting? Is it your *right* to be an impaired nuisance or worse? If it is really your *right*, then it should also be MY RIGHT not to be bothered, inconvenienced, endangered or killed by your cell usage. Unfortunately your rights seem to outweigh my rights.

I remember something about my mother – who never had an answering machine or voice mail. She used to say “if its important enough, they will call back.” If its an emergency, someone will find some other way of reaching you, and you can find some other way of reaching them. Unfortunately for that woman in Toronto, she lost her life for her *right* to her cellphone use. And our children are giving up their right to a proper education, because for some reason their *right* to chat with their friends (which I believe is the MAIN reason for their cell using, NOT to call parents in emergency situations – because emergencies just don't happen that often) outweighs their right to be educated.

And this might even stem into another blog entry – what constitutes an emergency these days? I guess that since luxuries have turned into necessities, and privileges have turned into rights, that anything can be considered an emergency.

happenings of late

The focus of life lately has consisted mostly of work. Working during the day, working during the evenings. Motivation is low, its hard to get motivated to do a whole lot. Its much easier to be motivated to sit around and watch TV. Its easy to forget our problems and frustrations when we are watching someone else's on TV.

If we aren't working, we are trying not to be frustrated and impatient with our house not yet being sold. We seriously didn't think it was going to take this long. But when we set this whole thing in motion late last summer / early fall, we certainly didn't know the market was going to tank and the whole economy was going to crash.

Is it still the right time to sell? Who really knows. Some properties are selling, others are not. Ours is a bit unique as opposed to people who live “in town.” Rural properties appeal to less people, and especially a property that is located right next to a (small) greenhouse operation. I wish potential buyers would believe it when I say that you really don't notice the fans and noise after a week or so, it just becomes part of the environment.

But which is worse? Traffic, honking, cars, people... or the hum of fans that are there to moderate the temperatures in a greenhouse that holds thousands of beautiful plants? I would take the fans any day. But that's what makes the property a bit unique. Not everyone wants to live out in “the sticks” in the first place.

We still think that selling is the right choice for us. Our original goals are still on the table. Other than our house not yet selling, there is nothing to indicate that these goals should not be our goals. We are not receiving any clear (or unclear) messages that we should be pursuing anything else.

In the meantime, patience is a virtue, and we are sure gaining experience in that regard. We are doing our best to make things work, to make ends meet, and to be content. Our relationship is stronger because of it, and our commitment to each other has not faltered. Its interesting how struggles can bring people together, just like sometimes struggles can push people apart.

All I can say is that without the strength and support of my husband, I would never be able to do this – this “game” of wondering and waiting. The support and encouragement we offer each other is something that I will not trade for anything.