what does being a team player get you???

Sometimes... a big fat NOTHING! Okay, so I am frustrated, again or still, what else is new I suppose... I feel that I try so hard, and with so little to show for it. Sometimes this gets me down, more often it pisses me off. I am mad at myself, mad at others...
Who should I be mad at? God? Absolutely not. Even in these low moments, He loves me. Satan? Sure, some. Myself? Pretty much. But not so hard on myself.
I could lower some expectations and standards so the disappointment won't be as great. But, then I won't feel challenged and I'll get bored. I have to accept that there are some people that are just different from me - more likely its I am different than most people - anyway, and that what I see as failure is not, and that what I see as achievement is not... It comes back to that perception thingy...
I'm rambling and cryptic, I know... supposed to have something more meaningful to say... here goes.
My old definition of a team was this - I did all the work, quickly and with highest quality (okay, boasting a little, only with the gifts God gave me was I ever able to achieve this); the entire team got the credit, we all "won." Then things started to change: that wasn't real team work, because the entire team wasn't involved, included, engaged - they were not a part of it.
So now I do my work, and slightly extend that role to include gentle encouragement of my team mates. But it takes too long sometimes for things to get done. For my personality, for every facet (which is under transformation) of my being, this pains me, figuratively and physically. I have a hard time not seeing it as a failure - though no one else has ever really indicated it failed...
What am I getting at? I *feel* that more things got done the way I used to do things. But, I have to accept (and I am really trying to do so) that the end does not justify those means. Its about that touchy feely relationship building stuff... Oh boy!