2010 year in review

January - Exciting for me as I got a new job! I started on the 19th. Hubby to Toronto for meetings. My car in the shop with a not so cheap repair. And we mourn the loss of a (very) loved one.

February - New owners to the house that we rent an apartment in, but they didn't kick us out. People who lived upstairs (and who were insanely inconsistent with the heat) moved out. New owner moved in, and minus some extra noise from renos, all in all, not too bad. We also decided we were ready to start house shopping. My sister and her family visited us. Finally got $$ back from the Province from damage to my car on the 401 last August.

March - Lots, and lots of houses were looked at... All the ones in town were too expensive for what you get, so we started looking further out. Not much else exciting happened. We found the house we like! First offer basically rejected, so we offered more than we were hoping to have to pay, but still a good price and a good value.

April - Offer accepted, money arranged, house inspection done, gave notice to landlord... everything ready. Now begins the packing! Went to Sudbury for Easter, cousin's daughter's baptism. Some more car repairs, not too bad this time. Boo (kitty) got spayed, no more "Goopy Boo!"

May - Didn't actually do any packing in April, started this month. At least 1/3 of our stuff was still packed from the move last October. Hubby in Toronto again for meetings. Later in the month we took possession of the house, scrubbing and cleaning, ripping out carpets, and a week later we moved in! Got help from my brother and two guys from the church. Took about 4 hours to load/travel/unload, not too shabby! Went to Sudbury for Mother's Day - 'little' bro was in town too!

June - house set up, yard work, more house set up, more yard work. Fun! Got new hours at work, so I no longer work Mondays.

July - pretty much settled in and just living. My (not so new anymore) job going great. Hubby gets a raise! Spent a day at the beach with yet another sister and her boys.

August - just living... My sister from another province visited us, twice! AWESOME. We started a puzzle while she was here, which started my puzzle-a-holic-ness. Also spent a day boating with another sister and her family. I actually went knee-boarding too!

September - Went to Sudbury for our good friends' 10th anniversary vow renewal ceremony, was nice! Hubby in Toronto for meetings. This time I went with him and visited my sis and family, and some friends. Good time. I started teaching Sunday School at church. Sad that an Uncle passed away.

October - Our good friend got married on Thanksgiving. Visited my brother and his family. Furnace guy came to clean/service our 40 year old boiler... almost shut us down for good, but thankfully he got CO emissions back down, and we're good for (hopefully) another year. Hubby's got benefits now, so to the dentist we both go.

November - Hubby super busy with work. Levi (our almost 13 year old cat) died near the end of the month, still miss him. To take my mind off it I decorated and put up our Christmas tree - the earliest ever (too early!)

December - Busy with Christmas parties, extra activities and the like. Got a new kitten, she's cute, cuddly and crazy! Both of us had time off at the end of the month, lots of visiting of family here and there. Oh, and we may FINALLY have a family doctor.

All in all, a good year! Looking forward to 2011, and hopefully not so busy! House renos... here we come!

northern zen

It's easy to be relaxed when you live in an environment that is mostly peaceful, an environment that is not in a rush, people like to take it easy. But even then, life can get busy. Balancing work, hobbies, play, visiting, etc... can be tough.

Lately we've been fortunate to do some visiting and to have people visit us. It is always nice to reconnect with family and friends. What is especially nice about many relationships that we have: maybe we don't always talk on the phone or see each other in person as much as we'd like, however, when we do get-together, we can pick up where we left off, like no time has passed. To me that is a relationship with love, one that is not strained by grudges and second-guessing, a relationship that is honest, and they are ones that are cherished.

Sometimes, however, I think of relationships that I do not have that at one time I did. I try not to have any regrets, but there's still a quiet longing for something that isn't there. Don't get me wrong, I understand there's only so much that I can do, and I will not dwell on what I do not have. Perhaps its the naive dreamer in me that hopes for things that are unlikely. I will not lose hope, but I will accept the way things are, and the way things will be.

Most of the time I am truly content. A state of comfort, a sense of well-being. I feel I belong, and I feel I am home. I enjoy life and I enjoy work. I have changed some since moving here to the north - I am calmer for one. I have learned to slow down and enjoy things, which is simple to achieve when virtually everyone around you is doing the same thing. In this state of mind, and in this place of living, its quite easy to see the good in things, easier to look on the bright side.

I feel blessed, and for that I am truly grateful.

2 out of 3 ain't bad

Its been just over 5 and a half years since my Mom passed away. I never knew that I would lose my father too.

No, he has not passed away, but he has moved on. He's moved on so much that he seems to have forgotten most of the life: family, friends, children, that he had while Mom was still alive.

Father's Day was a bit of a tough day, tougher than Mother's Day. You see, I have accepted that Mom is better off in heaven. Mind you there are still times that I grieve and miss her terribly, but I realize that she's still with me in spirit, and always in my heart.

Mom being gone because she's been taken home to heaven is a very good reason for someone to be gone. Dad being gone because he chooses to not be a part of my life is tougher. How do you grieve for someone who is still alive, and well (as far as I know...)

I couldn't call my Dad on Father's Day. I am not even 100% sure if I really wanted to, but even if I did, I had no way to call. He has moved to a new home, and has not provided me with his new contact information. I know I have done my diligence by ensuring he received my new address and phone number, but he has not returned the favor.

I try not to be bitter about the situation, but to me it feels as though I care a lot more than he does. Every now and again it takes its toll - on me. If he was a 'friend' or acquaintance I would have written him off already, but he's my Dad, and no matter what, I still love him. But I cannot continue to fret over the man, he has his life, and all I can do is hope that he is happy with it.

Besides... I have 2 other Dads (hubby's father and step-father) whom are reachable, and whom I have a better relationship with.

As they say... 2 out of 3 ain't bad!

irony of the e

Last month I wrote an entry about our fiasco with ING and our mortgage. Jeff had said something to the supervisor at ING that made me chuckle.

The issue was the fact that we deposited more than one item at a time. Jeff had said "to save paper, no?" Apparently she didn't appreciate that comment. Then Jeff said to her, "you know, I do good work, I try and be good to the earth, and this is how I am rewarded?" I don't think the lady had a response for him.

But the thought did strike me that he had a point. ING is a bank that is mostly paperless, and branch-less unlike traditional banks. One might think that for such an e-forward (as in digitally, or electronically forward) they would appreciate the savings and efforts, but no. Thankfully God appreciates it, and after all, its done for Him and for that reason alone its worth doing!

the un-unmortgage

Business can be tough... Take the business of getting a mortgage, or house insurance. Here describes two interesting, yet equally incomprehensible (if you ask me) decisions made by two companies.

First came the issue with house insurance. Lets rewind for a moment to August 2005 when we first purchased our home down south. We had house insurance through Allstate. We sold the house Sep 30, 2009. We (unfortunately) do not have tenant's insurance.

In April of 2006 we got vehicles and insured both of them with Allstate. We have had this policy ever since.

We asked Allstate for a quote on house insurance for the new house we are buying. Their decision? Declined. Why? Well, basically they told us that we have no history or loyalty with them. You see, from closing date to closing date, over 6 months will have passed, so we are apparently brand-new disloyal customers. No amount of discussion was going to change their minds, and the lady's attitude wasn't very friendly or helpful to the situation. (I will not name the specific lady, but I do not mind naming Allstate itself, as I believe these are Allstate mentalities and methods of practice, and not necessarily the "fault" of the individual, they were just doing their jobs).

Second issue came with Mortgage. We applied with ING Direct (and a couple of other places: A mortgage broker, and RBC). We were pre-approved by all 3 sources - nice! ING had the best rate, so we decided to go with them. We sent them all the paperwork they requested.

Then they asked for additional paperwork, provided. Then some more, again, provided. We were declined. Why? You see, my husband works for a not-for-profit organization. He is a regular salary-paid full time employee just like anyone else who works there. Just so happens that he is also one of the founding members, and just so happens that his brother is the President & CEO.

This was a problem for ING. Somehow this translated into them not being able to verify his income (even though we provided pay stubs, deposit records, letter from employer, etc...). They classified him as being self-employed. No amount of discussion was getting anywhere, their decision was final.

There was another slight problem too, a silly thing if you ask me. We both get paid via an actual cheque that we have to deposit. Because we can't have the funds be held, we have to deposit at the teller. We deposit both at once, and they show up as one deposit on the transactions. ING could not confirm that the deposits matched the pay stubs, even though all but a few were provided (and the few could easily have been provided). Apparently they didn't want to do the "math" to add the two pay stubs together and see they matched the deposit.

(I make note that I do not hold any ill-will towards our account rep, he did everything he could and we appreciate that. I disagree with the organization.)

We are fortunate though. These two experiences (that in my opinion should not have happened), could have broken the deal of buying the house, we'd be in trouble! But we had those other approvals, and we have other insurance connections. Nice to say that we have an almost equal mortgage rate from RBC, and we have a property insurance policy and a much better vehicle insurance policy with another organization (its great to have family in the business).

As for ING and Allstate, they do not get any of my business. Our 11+ year old savings account with ING will be closed (all the money transferred out, waiting to close it until they pay current interest earned). Our vehicles will no longer be insured with Allstate. Their business policies are not acceptable to us, and we will not do business with them.

flourish by detachment

Sometimes we are put into interesting situations. Take starting a new job, for instance. No matter how well you can read people, an interview (or more than one) can only tell you so much. Only time reveals how things are, whether they be good or bad. When you are fortunate enough to enter a work place that has very little negatives that is great.

But what about those places that are in disarray? Maybe the prior management/administration really fouled things up... Maybe the person who had the job before you was so well loved that your presence becomes insult to them... Maybe people got so used to doing things a certain way that any change (even good changes that truly are NEEDED) becomes a hindrance and you are resented for representing that change. With any of these types of situations, time spent in a new role can be very difficult. After many years of experience in the 'field' one may learn how to better deal, but even like the newbie, some things are just too much to handle.

How long do you spend in such an environment? How much effort do you put forth just to be met with resistance at every step? How much can one take? Would anyone in those shoes question a decision to just walk away?

Too many workplaces become the main source of stress in life. Its bad for health, not just our health as the newbie, but those who were there before our time. Its uncomfortable for everyone, and the worse the relationships get, the more the work suffers. It brings pleasure to no one, no sense of accomplishment, and certainly no sense of reward.

Sometimes the situations are so dire that animosity is everywhere, and emotions run high. Everyone seems to be working against each other, rather than together. To that new person just starting out, this can be very discouraging. There are some professions where this disappointment can be overcome simply with a new place to go to work, but for others, it can make or break a long career ahead.

If newbie is going no where, and no one around them is getting anywhere either, wouldn't it just make sense to part ways? Would anyone blame the newbie?

* No, this post is not a real story, not one that is happening to me. Though it's roots do lie in the truth, I've simply created a hypothetical situation based on real-life experiences. Comments are welcome!

an altruistic pursuit

My work at the church is far from glamorous. I perform relatively mundane tasks, many that are repetitive tasks.

But glamor isn't the reason I applied for the position. I never wanted to be front and center in the spotlight (though when there's a typo in the Sunday bulletin, everyone knows who did it! hehe). No, I applied for the position in an attempt to give back.

I have been blessed with skills and talents. Many of these talents could easily be used for positions that have a much higher gain in terms of finances, or personal recognition. However, those pursuits are not for me.

When I was little and thought about what I would be when I grew up, there were many things that came to mind. I can honestly say that philanthropy was not one of them. However, the reward I feel from doing such altruistic work is far greater than anything I initially could have imagined.

So I am not going to "strike it rich" by being a church secretary. So what! Being rich and materialistic is not in plans for me anyway. When I think of a big house, fancy car, lots of "stuff," I just can't see myself being the one that owns it all. I have what I need, and I love what I am doing, for me, that is enough.

I am also blessed with a husband who feels the same way. He also has a benevolent and generous spirit. Helping each other grow in this regard is a wonderful thing to experience. We both feel that we are not put on earth to conquer, to *have*, or to take more than we need.

Yes, we need to earn a living, to support ourselves and the needs of our household. But while doing that, we are fortunate to do work that we love, work that allows us to directly give back to God while earning income to sustain ourselves. Its the best of both worlds, if you ask me!

avocation

I have only been there 2 weeks, and I thought I would blog about my new job already.... in a way ...

Its interesting how a person changes. I used to be nervous about starting a new job, not so much anymore. It might sound a bit conceited, but I am never really concerned that I will not be able to handle the work.

The workload is not something that ever really presented challenges for me. Rather, it was the people, not the tasks. No matter where one works, there will be people who are difficult to work with. Accepting this fact makes things a little easier, because I have given up on the idea that I *have* to please everyone, because quite simply, not everyone *can* be pleased.

At my new position, there will be a few people in the difficult category. Its just the way things are. But what I have been, and will continue to, focus on are the majority of people. The majority are kind, friendly, patient, helpful. They are people who genuinely want to not only see me succeed, but seek success in the grand scheme of things. I fall in line with that mentality - really, we need to work together for the greater good. Sometimes this means one has to let things go. Sometimes this means that one has to put aside their personal feelings and do what is best for the team.

To me its relatively easy to do this (at least so far, I am sure I will have my days where its not so easy). I work at a church, so setting my sights on the bigger picture - bringing glory to God - is an excellent motivator. When things don't go well at work, especially at "the church," its not only the people that suffer, but its the ministry that suffers. God doesn't want to see us fighting and failing, He wants us to succeed as much as we want ourselves to succeed.

Putting aside my personal opinions or ideas to create an environment where God shines though is simple, that's what I am called to do in every aspect of my life. "Whatever I do, I need to work on it with all of my heart, as though I am working for God and not man." (slight variation of Colossians 3:23)

life and death, work and play

Wow, what a busy week it has been, and a busier week on the horizon.

It all started a week ago Thursday when I interviewed for a part-time position. Its a "secretary" or administrative position, one that many people wouldn't deem very glamorous. My response to such a thought is that a secretary or administrative assistant is an integral and vital part of any organization, they are important. Besides, someone has to do all that stuff. I applied and interviewed for the job because I like doing that kind of stuff, and I am good at it.

The following morning I received a call that I was selected as their ideal candidate. They had already spoken to one of my references (left a message for a second, but hand't heard back yet) and were more than comfortable extending the offer to me. After some relatively brief discussions, I accepted. (Everything about it was acceptable, even the pay, which was more than I was expecting!)

So I started already this week. Even though it's only part time, it felt like a busier week. I think I got used to the 3.5 months of not working and having all the time in the world.

Next week we have plans for a trip, meetings for hubby, and visiting for me. I was hoping to get some things done over the weekend, and early next week... But something came up.

We mourn the loss of a loved one. Someone dear to hubby, and someone dear to close friends. Tomorrow we head for viewing, then Monday for the funeral. We pray that she is now with God, happy and healthy, and living in glory.

Sometimes things come up that change our plans. But everything happens in God's time. So a busy week just ended, and a busier week on the horizon. At least we are not idle!

out of character?

I was going to blog about the people who live upstairs and their apparent lack of courtesy/respect... but lets be honest, we can probably all come up with at least one or two stories per day of people not showing common decency towards one another.

Rather, I will blog about something else, because it is (unfortunately) much harder to find examples of people's actions that are good and nice and perhaps even a little old fashioned by today's standards.

I was at the mall, and there were lots of teenagers at the mall. I have a bit of a stereotype on how teenagers behave, and in my own defence, most of their actions seem to affirm my stereotype - the majority of teenagers lack respect. In fact, the story starts out that very way...

There were 4 boys exiting the mall, I was behind them, and they were behind an older lady with a cart. The boys were kind of weaving around people, it appeared they were in more of a hurry than most of the others. They were definitely in more of a hurry than the older lady, especially when she suddenly stopped moving so she could put on her gloves before exiting the mall. One of the boys banged into her, causing her to drop a glove. The boy continued on.

But the other 3 didn't. While one of these teenage boys stopped to pick up the dropped glove for the lady, the other two were giving the first boy some heck. "You can't just bang into someone like that..." they lectured. Even more surprising (to me anyway) was the next thing they said: "Go back and apologize to her, or we aren't going to hang out with you today."

WOW.

Even more WOW - the first boy did as they suggested. Head down, and looking a little ashamed, he walked up to the lady. "I am sorry for banging into you, and sorry I didn't help you with the glove you dropped."

I think the older lady was as surprised as I was. Seemed a little out of character for teenage boys in the year 2010...

Every once and awhile I need to be reminded that there are indeed good, caring people out there, and I am thankful to have been witness to it. Kinda renews my faith in humanity.

year in review

It has been a pretty eventful and stressful year. But also a year filled with blessings, many of them unexpected and a couple of them quite sudden. Here are the highlights of 2009.

January

January was a tough month. I was temporarily laid off (seasonal work) and was expecting only part-time work when things resumed next door. Jeff had been doing some temping in December, but January brought along a halt to that. Jeff ended up taking a telemarketing job, certainly not his favorite and way out of his comfort zone. But we needed the money, and I am happy that he did what needed to be done for us. I started job searching, more for a second part-time job, but had applied to some full time jobs as well.

January also brought on the somewhat humiliated feeling of having to borrow money from someone. I wasn't sure if this person would do it, but they came through, and that was a blessed surprise.

There were a couple house showings in January, but no interest. January brought month 3 of the FOR SALE sign out front.

February

Jeff's telemarketing job continues and I am back to work part-time at the greenhouses next door. But things there are busier than expected, and full time work is available to me. However, in the meantime I had been interviewing and was offered a part-time job with more pay. Jeff and I worked some things out with our current employers, and we both ended up working two part time jobs which had us both at work 6 days a week. We "job-shared" at the greenhouse next door (Jeff there when I wasn't, and vice versa). It took a bit to get used to the schedule but more money was coming in.

Again a couple of showings, but no interest in the house. Month 4.

March

March was a better month. First, all our T4s and tax stuff was ready, so I filed taxes. Jeff got a nice chunk of money back, which allowed us to pay off 2/3 of the money we borrowed in January.

Both of us working, me liking my new job much better than Jeff likes his telemarketing one...

March was the end of our listing agreement on our house. We lowered the price, signed for another term, had an open house. Still no interest.

April

Things are running quite well with each working two jobs. More money was coming, bills were being paid, and some back log was being eaten away. We still weren't quite sure where we were going to get the rest of the money owed from what we borrowed in January.

A few house showings, and... no interest :( 6 months!

May

The Spring weather brought on more house showings. Some more detailed interest, and towards the end of the month we saw our first offer! It was a pretty good offer, but conditional on the other people selling their house. We also continued to have other showings, and would have entertained other offers if there were any.

May also brought us a new/renewed contract for a website we had designed and been maintaining for years. This overhaul came with a price, money up front, and the rest upon completion. The upfront money paid the rest of our "loan." And now we just had typical credit card and regular bills.

Work was going well, though Jeff was getting pretty tired of things at the call center, and who can blame him.

June

Well, Jeff finally had enough and decided to leave his telemarketing job. We had done the math and knew that financially we would just squeak by. Especially if our house sold soon, because we had that offer after all.

But the other people's house didn't sell, and they decided not to ask for an extension. So, no offer, back to the house being plain old for sale. We had some showings, and a new offer! Well, don't get too excited yet, it was a pitiful offer that we rejected.

Then the month turned from okay to worse... We were both laid off from our greenhouse job, and were replaced with students when they finished school for the summer. We were grateful to have the job while it lasted, and I will leave it at that.

July

Jeff begins some serious job hunting, and tries to keep busy. I still have my other part-time job and am still working 3 days a week, and its a job I love.

July brought a new offer! Again, this one was conditional on the people selling their house. But our agent was their agent, and we were kept up-to-date on how things were going with their house, and we continued to show ours.

One day at my work I noticed a job posting for "warehouse person" at another branch. I thought that it was something Jeff could do, and gave his info to that branch manager. Jeff was interviewed and was hired, and by the end of the month he had his first pay cheque. In the meantime he had interviewed and even tried out a few other things, but this warehouse job was the one that just worked for us.

The only downside was that Jeff had to get his car back on the road. It was an issue with the catalyst converter, plus he needed an oil change, some brake work,and an e-test. And we needed to renew the sticker. We still didn't have a lot of money up front. But we have retired mechanic friend down the street, and long story short, he and his son (a professional welder) repaired the damage for free! All Jeff had to do was the brakes, which was a struggle (and a long story in itself) but finally done.

August

Things were going well with both our jobs. I was enjoying my two days a week off and getting stuff done at home, and we settled into a routine. There was more money being earned then previously, so we were more comfortable and less stressed.

But the people who offered on our house, nope, their house didn't sell either, and they didn't ask for an extension. Our house was back to being regularly for sale... for a short term... The very next day we had a new offer! This one was conditional only on financing! It was a bit lower than we had hoped for, but still, this was the best overall offer yet! Remember that rejected pathetic offer I mentioned in June? Well, these were the same people with a reasonable offer. It took 5 days, they confirmed their financing, and YES!!!! Jeff and I put up the SOLD sign, a very happy moment indeed. And then the fun began, with just 6 weeks to pack up and move out! This was nearer to the end of the month, closing date Sept 30th (which would be 11 months from the day we initially put it up for sale).

A lot needed to happen in those 6 weeks, as our plan always was to relocate up north. Jobs were needed, and so was a home. Jeff spoke to someone about working from home (telecommuting) for an organization he helped to found. The assumption (based on past experiences) is that it would be a long process, and just hopefully he would be able to start close to our relocate date. The very next day, far less than 24 hours later he received a call and was offered a position! Talk about timing. He then had to resign from his current warehouse job, and in less than a week begin his new job.

The following weekend we made a 1 day trip to up north and looked at 6 apartments. By Monday afternoon we received the call that we got the one we wanted. Now all was left was for me to resign as well, which was tough, because I loved working there.

All of this, and still 1 week of August was left. I began job hunting and we began the process of sorting and packing.

September

What a busy month! I was still working 3 day a week til the end of the month. We sorted the house, I did most of the packing (which is okay, because I had the most time). We had 2 yard sales. We sold stuff on Kijiji and we gave stuff away on Freecycle. We made a trade with our neighbor, they would dispose of all our junk, and we would give them furniture that didn't sell.

Moving day came. No hiccups. It was a busy couple days. Load up on Wednesday, drive up north, Jeff drove the rental, I drove my car with the kitties. Spend night in motel. Unload on Thursday, then drive all the way back down south to return the rental truck. Then drive all the way back to our new home in Jeff's car.

October

The month started out with a whirlwind. The Thursday mentioned above where we unloaded then made the return trip was actually Oct 1st. The first week saw all the boxes unpacked (well, all that were going to be unpacked) and the entire apartment scrubbed from top to bottom. Everything was done in about 5 days.

Then we made a trip to see Jeff's family for Thanksgiving. It was a nice weekend, and such a short drive compared to when we used to do it from down south.

The rest of the month consisted of Jeff working, me job hunting, and trying to keep busy. I did a lot of baking that first month! We also dealt with Cogeco a couple more times than desired, but in the end got a new modem which has been flawless since.

We took advantage of the nice fall weather, explored trails, admired the colors, and saw some wildlife. Beautiful town!

November

Jeff continues to work away. The end of the month marked the end of his 3 month probationary contract, and we are happy to report that they didn't can him and he now has the standard 1 year contract.

I continued job hunting, and trying to stay busy. I scanned all 14 reels of my grandmother's slides, a daunting but rewarding task. I did some more baking. I cleaned twice a week. I made arrangements with the landlord for $100 off rent if I cleaned the common entry way. Boredom and a loss of purpose starts to set in, but I am not discouraged.

November was also the month where I did something very out of the ordinary - I set up the Christmas tree and decorated the house, and it wasn't even December yet! I don't know what I was thinking...

December

This was a month spent chasing kitty away from the Christmas tree. I did Christmas cards, more baking, more job searching, more walking, more trying to stay busy.

I tried, but failed, to see my sister. Failed because the car failed. Had to get some work done to it, and spent a bit of money, but not to bad when all things are considered. The following week was (a successful) second attempt to go see my sister, and it was a wonderful day.

I had a close call with my poor oak tree. :(

Christmas was quiet, with just Jeff and I and a 12lb turkey - lots of leftovers! Presents consisted of us shopping together. We both got some pants and sweaters, I got new winter boots, and Jeff got a new coat.

New Year's Eve will be spent with my sister, then off to see Jeff's family for a few days on New Year's Day. Holidays wrap up and end on my birthday!

See you next year!

the little things

I am pleased to say that as we approach 3 months in the clean and friendly city up North that we are still loving it here. There are so many things about it here that are good for us.

But not everything has turned out how I had planned/hoped. Mainly, I am not working yet, despite my diligence in applying for positions. I guess its just not in the plans... yet anyway.

In the meantime I try and keep busy, though some days I find myself bored, and late afternoon naps at my desk with the kitty on my shoulder have become common, so have early mornings in bed reading with a hot cup of tea (and a kitty very nearby, often on top of the book!) I enjoy the freedom and the time that allows me such luxuries... for now anyway.

A lot of little things get done, mainly cleaning (and cleaning up after kitty). Its not a very big apartment, doesn't take long to clean, and with a messy kitty its a good excuse to clean several times a week.

A lot of walking gets done. Little steps, and when we first got here, those little steps (oh, I should say about a hundred little steps up a steep hill) hurt so bad! Oh my, I had to rest nearly 5 minutes at the top. Now we can do that hill a couple times of day and say, thats not so bad.

This little summary of the Northern life is just that: a summary. One that I hope gets the point across that I (we) are happy here, and despite a few little things, it is such a positive change for us. A long time coming, and we are enjoying the rewards of many years of patient anticipation.

its just a tree

It happened a few weeks ago... One of the people who live upstairs knocked on our door and asked about the tree outside (small, pathetic looking oak tree in a 35 gallon black nursery pot that was sitting near the front door). She wanted to warn us, in a way.

Here is what she told me: The people who own the house next door saw her and asked if the tree was hers, she told them it was ours. The neighbors then proceeded to tell her the tree was ugly and 'dead.' To which she indicated again that it was not hers and they should talk to us. The neighbors then mentioned our landlord's name, saying they were going to complain to him.

She wanted to tell us just in case the tree went "missing" and we were wondering what happened to it. I thanked her then put a note in the pot and moved the tree to the side of the house.

I find a few faults with the entire scenario:

1. As soon as they were told they should talk to us, they should have. They did not.
2. The ugly part is debatable, but "dead?" Its winter, all coniferous trees look dead, were they thinking of cutting down the woods too?
3. What business was it of theirs anyway? Its my tree in "my" yard...

I guess no matter where you live, sometimes neighbors are a thing you can do without.

Oh, the note I put in the tree basically said that it belongs to me, is not dead, rather its dead appearance should be attributed to the fact that its winter. And I politely asked that no one disposes of my tree.

One might think its just a tree, what's even the big deal if they got rid of it? First, its a living tree, why destroy a tree if you do not have to. Second, it wasn't their tree to do anything with. And third, the tree actually has a bit of sentimental value to me.

When I was in elementary school I came home with this little sapling spruce tree. My Mom helped me to pot it and care for it, trimming here, fertilizing there. This little oak tree I now have started out as a tiny little stem with 1 leaf. I remembered Mom's teachings and wondered if I could bring this desperate little oak sapling to life. Sure enough, within 3 years its grown to about 3 feet tall, and (in the summer) looks very much alive.

what is courtesy anyway?

One thing that seems to really bug me about people in general is courtesy, rather, lack thereof. I think so many things in life could be "better" if people were a bit more old-fashioned in their ways of treating one another. Common courtesy is less and less common these days.

I have been known to blog (okay, rant) about cell phone usage, and to me this is an example of lack of courtesy. Just so happens to be a bigger one, in the regard that lack of courtesy while driving is dangerous and can have serious ramifications.

Nonetheless, there are many other experiences that could be improved if courtesy was considered to be an important attribute. Take my trip to the grocery store yesterday. There was an older lady (not tooo old, but a senior) who was just all over the place in the store with her cart. I witnessed her bang into people, and she bumped my cart once. I tried to notice if she had any discernible ailments, but I didn't notice anything. Perhaps it was her eyesight, she was wearing glasses.

But upon watching her a little, her actions seemed (to me) to be less affected by any ailment and more dictated by her needs at the moment. She needed that item on that shelf, and it didn't seem to matter to her that there might already be people where she needs to be. Hence the bumping into people.

Even if she had legitimate ailments that contributed to her behavior, not once was she heard to utter any form of apology or acknowledgement of the incidents.

The next thing she did seemed to further my opinion that she was just being selfish. I was headed towards the checkout, closer to the available cash than she was. This older, senior lady noticed and picked up her pace, she pretty much was jogging by the time she passed me with her buggy and glided into the checkout just ahead of me. Hmm, I guess she was in a rush, which is exactly what I said out loud to her. She ignored me, and I went to another cash.

You might think the story ends here, but it does not. Coincidently I was parked right behind her in the lot. She was just finishing unloading her cart as I was approaching my car. She put her last two bags in the trunk, closed the lid, and then got into her car. The logical (and considerate) next step after closing the trunk would be to return the cart to the buggy area. No, she chose to leave it behind her car.

In Jessica fashion, I felt the desire to say something to her. I walked over to her window (she hadn't driven away yet). She wouldn't roll down her window (can't say I blame her) but I spoke loud enough for her to hear. "You're just going to leave your cart right there?" I asked, and was returned with a blank look and a shrug. "You're just gonna leave it, right there." I said again, and she nodded! "Suit yourself" I replied and put her cart away as she drove off.

I have been trying to come up with reasons, justifications, excuses, whatever you want to call them, and to try and see it from her perspective. What would cause someone to behave like that? Already stated, my first reaction is that it was done out of selfishness, lack of awareness, and definitely a lack of courtesy. But did she maybe have better reasons?

1. Was the parking lot icy/snowy? Nope
2. Was it raining/snowing/freezing cold or some other undesirable condition? Nope
3. Was the buggy area far away? Nope (15 feet maybe)
4. Was she in a hurry? I have no real way of knowing that, but even if she was, does that make for a good excuse?
5. Did she just get a call on her cell and there was an emergency somewhere? Highly unlikely as she wasn't witnessed (by me) to be using a cell at any point.
6. Did she have ailments (as I had already asked myself inside the store)? None that were apparent... And even if she had no ailments in the store, who is to say that she didn't hurt herself in some way between the store and her car, I wasn't in a position to witness such...

No matter how I try and think of it from her perspective, I have trouble coming up with something that would make her behavior acceptable... The most acceptable would be some ailment related thing, but then where was her consideration for others in terms of apologizing for her actions?

Maybe I missed something...

in⋅ap⋅pro⋅pri⋅ate

Lately I have been on the topic of the whole disclaimer policy related to being a part of an organization (work, etc) and having to specifically separate that from your personal identity. I am not going to regurgitate those entries, you can read them here, here and here.

What I do want to talk about is what affect such policies may or will eventually have on the hiring process. Will a potential employer ask you about your social online networking or blogs? And what if they did?

I believe that this would be a totally inappropriate thing to ask. I don't think it is a necessary thing, and I think it borders if not crosses privacy invasion.

But I wonder what you think, so I have included two polls (---> look to the right --->)...

I appreciate your comments too.


in⋅ap⋅pro⋅pri⋅ate the opposite of: ap⋅pro⋅pri⋅ate [uh-proh-pree-it]
as defined by Random House Dictionary, © Random House, Inc. 2009, courtesy of dictionary.com
1. suitable or fitting for a particular purpose

also known as: wrong [rawng, rong]
as defined by Random House Dictionary, © Random House, Inc. 2009, courtesy of dictionary.com
1. not in accordance with what is morally right or good
3. not correct in action, judgement, opinion, method, etc.
4. not proper or usual; not in accordance with requirements or recommended practice
6. not suitable or appropriate
8. that which is wrong, or not in accordance with morality, goodness, or truth

or: im⋅prop⋅er [im-prop-er]
as defined by Random House Dictionary, © Random House, Inc. 2009, courtesy of dictionary.com
2. not in accordance with propriety of behavior, manners, etc.
3. unsuitable or inappropriate, as for the purpose or occasion
4. abnormal or irregular

repudiation

I still have some lingering and somewhat random thoughts related to the theme of the last two blog entries I made. The topic is: employment policies that relate to personal social networking and/or personal blogs, and how employees are being required to include a disclaimer on their personal things that separate them as an individual from them as the team-member affiliated with the employer.

I have been mulling about these ideas for days and still have not come up with a way to properly articulate my thoughts on them. So, I am going to cheat and take the easy way out and just list them as food for thought. Maybe I will add a note or two, but looking for your comments/thoughts as well.

1. Does the requirement of such a disclaimer on personal blogs/identities by existence show we have something to "hide" or possibly be ashamed of?
My thoughts here are kinda like this... By stating that "the thoughts or opinions in a personal blog do not represent the organization" to me gives an indication for the reader/viewer to EXPECT to read something that is not in line with say my day job. Does this disclaimer "set me up" so to speak, in terms of having people presume things before even reading?
These thoughts stem from my belief that people are inherently incapable of being objective.

2. I think that having to put a disclaimer on my personal stuff says more about the reader than me the writer.
I have stated before that while I am able to compartmentalize and separate people at work from people not at work (in terms of who they are and how they may act) and that other people are not. My first, and not necessarily nice or politically correct reaction, is that this fact is actually more of an insult to those others. Therefore such a disclaimer says less about me and more about someone else's ignorance or inability.

3. I believe that what people at work think or know about who I REALLY am doesn't necessarily matter too much in the grand scheme of things.
In the summary of my first entry on this topic I indicated that it really only matters what God thinks. But to extend that a little further, I believe that Biblically God has set my life's priorities for me, and because of this, my "not really caring what strangers think" isn't specifically un-Biblical. The priorities set for me are as follows, in order (which is important). 1. GOD 2. HUSBAND 3. FAMILY 4. FRIENDS and 5. EVERYONE ELSE. So the people I really have to "answer to" are already the ones who know me best and quite frankly, the ones who can see right through me. They know how to "take things" that I say, they know whether or not I am offensive, and when they talk to me I really listen because they get to the root of the issue and I don't have to sort through all kinds of fluff to determine what their problem really is.

I guess that is it for now... But I did have an interesting conversation the other day about this whole topic and how it relates to the hiring process, and what affect my personal blog has on me being an ideal candidate. I have a few interesting things to write about, and even have a poll or two in mind... stay tuned for that!

extended caution

I am continuing with my thoughts on the topic of disclaimers/warnings/cautions as they relate to having a personal identity that is separate from any affiliations with groups/companies/organizations. I originally blogged about the fact that many places of employment require their employees to put a disclaimer on their personal blog or social networking identity.

In that entry I indicated that though I do not disagree with such policies, I do however feel that something is missing, especially for Christian organizations. Here are a few of those:

1. Individuals have the right to personal thoughts and the expressions of those thoughts
This point doesn't really need a whole lot of explanation, especially from a societal perspective. But lets take a moment and look at it from a Biblical perspective. God created us with free will, free thoughts, and the ability to make choices. I think its implied here that He never intended us to be all uniform in our ways, because He could easily have made us into whatever He wanted. God chose not to create mindless drones. He chose to create us as individuals, and the importance of this is not lost on me. I think that God had planned all along for us to have differing views on things, and to have ideas that someone else may not have come up with. These things spark collaboration and networking, they spark new and creative ways of doing things. Yes, they also tend to spark debates, arguments, hatred and worse. (But that only happens when we take things too personally and allow pride to get in the way of the greater good).
What I am really trying to say here is that if God wanted me to "be just like you" He would have made me that way. The fact that He didn't tells me that I am not necessarily wrong or evil to have my own thoughts on a subject.

2. Individuals have the right to NOT read, watch or listen to things that they disagree with, or are offended by
I have definitely touched on this in various entries over my blogging history. I am going to keep this simple by letting you read this post. The most important line in that entry that I want to highlight here is this:

The last time I started to read something that offended me, do you know what I did? I STOPPED READING IT! And the last time I read an entire thing that offended me, do you know what I did? I contacted that person and had an open and healthy discussion about it!

Too many times people make assumptions. In most forms of communication (even sometimes in face-to-face encounters) its hard to tell the "tone" or implications of writing. Some things are taken the wrong way, taken out of context, etc. Sometimes people assume that you mean things a certain way, simply because they think you are always that "way..."

3. As Christians, we have the responsibility to pray for people who we feel are off-base with their personal facebook statuses, or their personal blog entries.
This is unfortunately the most important part that is too often overlooked. I will speak of personal experiences. I have had people tell me that my words or actions have offended them (no real surprise there) and its not something that makes me proud or happy. In fact it sometimes makes me feel sad and ashamed (depending of course on the issue and/or the person). I have had people tell me that I am a terrible person who needs "help" (help of the professional kind). I have had people say things like "I am only telling you this because I am concerned for you..." A typical but unspoken response of mine would likely be to refer to Luke 6:41-42, but I have found that gets me into even more trouble, and often incorrectly mistaken as a defence mechanism. So instead my "new" typical retaliation is to ask that person "Have you prayed for me?"
This is where it gets interesting... After the initial awkward reaction of fidgeting, staring at toes or ceiling, accompanied by a shade of red in the cheeks, the conversation is often over. Its interesting to me how few (Christians) have replied with the answer YES. Many simply do not respond, but worse than that are the responses that would make me feel that I am not even worthy of being prayed for.
You see the point here is this: As Christians, we are responsible not only to God and ourselves, but we are responsible to each other. We are to hold each other accountable and do what we can (within Biblical means) to maintain or restore each other to a right relationship with God. That is to be our ONLY motive - bringing glory to God. If someone is offended by something I write/say/do, and they do not pray, that is a significant problem.


A typical "disclaimer policy" will read similar to this:
...any personal blogs or other information shared online that could reflect on the [organization] must have a disclaimer stating that the author does not represent the [organization]...

Here is what I think would be a more effective, and more respectful, disclaimer policy:
...we recognize and respect your right to personal thoughts and opinions, however, some readers may not be able to separate your individual avocations from those of our organization. We ask that you make special note such that these misunderstandings can be reduced/eliminated.
...we ask that all of our employees remember that your co-workers are also people who are not necessarily 'just like you' and bear in mind that your differences are what make us work better as a team towards our overall mission.
...furthermore, we promise to pray continually for us all. We pray that no matter our thoughts, words, actions, we will recognize that we are all children of Christ, and we deserve to be treated as such.

warning

Many companies/organizations out there either have for quite some time or are just instituting employee policies when it comes to personal accounts on social networking (facebook, for example) or personal blogs. They are requiring that their employees put a disclaimer (A repudiation or denial of responsibility or connection -- American Heritage Dictionary) of sorts, stating that this is the personal space of so-and-so and the thoughts, ideas, etc... are not representative of the organization.

Sometimes I think or ask, why do we need to do this? Who I am at work and who I am at home are not necessarily the same, and can't people compartmentalize? The short and easy answer is, no, people cannot...

Just the other day I was watching a re-run of Stargate SG-1 on DVD. The episode dealt with this issue - sort of... it dealt with something very similar anyway, the fact that when you are part of a group, even when you are acting alone, outside of the group, people will make the assumption that you are still acting as part of the group.

Teal'c (an alien) is part of the team SG-1, which is made up of two earthlings from the military, two aliens, and one earthling civilian. In this episode Teal'c decided to seek revenge on another alien, part of a group that has a somewhat weak alliance with earth. The people from earth, the US military to be exact who run the SG program, were worried that his actions would be mistaken as represenative of earth, and would therefore jeopardize and progress made. Teal'c, like me, thought that people should just "know" the difference. But all across the galaxy everyone made the assumption that the SG command were worried about. You see, Teal'c has been an integral member of SG-1 for about 10 years, and often has gone out alone, but on earth business. Why would this be any different, especially because the guy he was going after was a bad guy to a lot of people, and it would even be conceivable that earth would want to "do something" about this guy too.

So, their concerns were justified.

To add to the situation, and to extend the point of people's assumptions... Even when Teal'c specifically told people in the galaxy that his revenge was not an earthling plan, and that he was acting alone, people still had difficulty separating Teal'c the individual from Teal'c the team member.

So, their concerns were not only justified, but if anything, they underestimated the extent of Teal'c's affiliation with earth...

I wonder then, will a disclaimer really even help? Don't get me wrong, I am not suggesting that organizations flat out prohibit their employees from having personal blogs, etc... I don't think that is right, or fair, or even legal?? But I wonder if a disclaimer is enough...

I wonder if I have to put a disclaimer on my blog because my ideas are so radically different from the organization I work for, then is there a misalignment between me and the organization in general, should I even be working there?

I wonder why the whole warning/disclaimer issue is so one-sided... There are other aspects here, and I will summarize:

• Individuals have the right to personal thoughts and the expressions of those thoughts
• Individuals have the right to NOT read, watch or listen to things that they disagree with, or are offended by
• As Christians, we have the responsibility to pray for people who we feel are off-base with their personal facebook statuses, or their personal blog entries.

Why these things are never mentioned in conjunction with the whole disclaimer thing is (to me) something that is lacking (I do plan to blog in more detail on these three points soon)...

Ultimately... it doesn't matter what I do or do not write, read, watch, say, think, when it comes to other people's reactions to them. Really, it matters what God thinks of it. I may be out of line sometimes, but God will help straighten me out, especially if those people who tell me "you shouldn't write that" also prayed to God "please help her not to write that again, and/or help me understand and be sympathetic..." you get the idea, I think.

lady picture show

I have been busy this past week with a project that is both fun and not-so-fun, both easy and daunting. Its all a matter of perspective of course...

Well over a year ago I blogged about my grandmother's slides that were so thoughtlessly discarded. For months I was both saddened and angered by that act, and chose to let the reels of slides sit in my closet. I had intended to scan them, someday...

But then we started some projects around the house, and things got busy. Oh well, I will get back to those slides, someday...

But then we put our house up for sale, and at any time there could be showings. Having projects strewn about was not possible, so I had to wait until the house sold, someday...

But it took 11 months from start to finish to sell our house, and the pile of slides just sat there, not being enjoyed, and worse, further degrading in terms of its medium (slides, negatives and photos don't last forever!) I needed to get to them, someday...

This week that day came! I realized that I need to do it now, while I have the time, and not wait for some other day. Its a big project, because there are a lot of slides! Most are nicely sorted into reels (11 of them, though some are only partially full) but there are also a bunch just loose in a bag.

In addition, there are more reels at my sister's house - ironically (or not so much) there were some reels that were not thrown away - the reels with "our" family, ones that my father must've thought meant something to him... (gonna stop that train of thought now, already expressed my frustration in that previous blog entry)...

And after the slides are done, come the box(es) of photographs...

But you know what? With all the bad aspects of doing this project (time consuming, etc), there are so many more good things - like seeing all these cool old photos, like reminiscing when I see a person or place that I have memories of, like knowing that eventually when the project is done that ALL of my family (immediate, extended, etc...) will be able to enjoy them too!

reaching my potential

** this post was written a long, long time ago, and left forgotten as a draft... but I will post it now anyway... **

I reacted somewhat poorly to a blog entry that a friend made. Not in any way to offend my friend, and I hope I didn't - but I reacted because sometimes I get tired of certain things.

Perhaps its bitterness, or just a longing for what I never had, but I don't always feel so special and privileged in the sense of automatically being more so than a person of color, a black person specifically, as the entry suggests...

Apparently I have more potential of growing up to be of higher class than I was when I was a child than a person of color does of growing up to be white.

Um, no kidding?

Seriously, I know this argument is more than about the color of skin, its the perceptions that people have related to that skin color. It is more likely for me to be in control of my future financial and social status than it is for a person of color to be in control of another's thoughts and opinions of them. However, my class and value, my worth in society are also dependent on other people's perceptions of me.